Sunday, December 5, 2010

The common crazy

Relatively short, relatively artificial-sweetener free.
The theory of relativity continues to rear its ugly head.
I guess it's about time we welcome it in.

1. There are (apparently) different levels of crazy. Some, like the common cold, can be cured on their own.

2. If you find a note in your mojito, it is best to listen to what it says.

3. There is a thin line between being a free spirit and being too lazy to make plans.

4. It is perfectly acceptable to go home after an 8 hour wedding. Or to McDonald's.

5. If you are in the mood for mussels, then order the f-ing mussels!

6. When a priest asks a rhetorical question in the middle of his sermon, he expects a response.

7. If the DJ plays an inspired song, it is more than okay to take credit for it.

8. Porn is relative: to one, the Food Network may suffice; for another, E! may do the trick. Even an episode of Weeds for a select few. But for most, the internet is probably best.

9. Not getting your own way is the reason for 99% of all frustrations.

10. Playing the piano is one of the few truly distracting activities requiring 100% of your obsessive attention.

11. When troubleshooting a technical conundrum, the malfunction will usually turn out to be where you never expected but should have.

12. At some point along the downward spiral, bare-boned honesty will be the only thing you have left. And when you are there, it won't be enough.