Thursday, November 20, 2008

Flaky rock 'n' roll

"But in the long run we have found, silent films are full of sound, inaudibly free..."

1. Missing someone can be somewhat healthy.

2. A leaked hotel guest list can cause one to become excessively sneaky, albeit in complete vain!

3. A "rich husband" may not be all that it's cracked up to be.

4. An email sans body can nevertheless make one smile in the morning.

5. The longer things run smoothly, the bigger the crash at the end of the tunnel.

6. Professional comfort is an urban legend. The omnipresence of office politics and air conditioning always interfere.

7. Honesty is best expressed in writing. Or in drunkeness.

8. "It seems to me that maybe, it pretty much always means no."

9. Acknowledging one's existence while denying their importance is tricky business indeed.

10. Law of transitive property: Mailing lists belonging to cool people tend to consist of likewise cool people.

11. One must attempt to live by rock 'n' roll rules. See below for details.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Inadequate replacements

A housewife with a great kitchen, children who are seen and only very occasionally heard and an unlimited access to Tiffany's is undoubtedly the ideal occupation.....

1. Consistent Sleep Deprivation (CSD) can't possibly be good for one's physiology, nervous system or mental health.

2. In times of CSD, Consistent Coffee Deprivation (CCD) can't possibly be good for one's physiology, nervous system or mental health.

3. Timing is key when cooking several things at once, especially if said meal includes mashed potatoes.

4. Cooking is often seen as a daunting task which, if achieved correctly, may mean exponential return business.

5. People may say a lot of things. Meaning what they say is a whole different ballgame.

6. Apple juice is a meagre replacement for coffee.

7. "Conversation is where life gets interesting."

8. Documenting learnings while under stress yields disjointed and seemingly incomplete results.

Karmic proportions

Bluey purpley moods have a way of pervading the atmosphere and sinking into one's skin...

1. For most, interest in a member of the opposite sex is inversely proportional to the attention received from said member.

2. Separating business and pleasure is a skill which, once mastered, makes life much easier.

3. Spelling mistakes on a government website make one seriously rethink their geographic choices.

4. Being nice and being intelligent are also mutually exclusive.

5. Cards, unlike puzzle, food and chilling, is something that you can win at. For some, it is only ever something you can lose at.

6. WARNING: Objects (of one's affection) are closer than they appear.

7. One must manoeuvre one's political environment very knowledgeably and very carefully.

8. When given the chance, most people are inherently good. The rest, once identified, must be avoided like the plague.

9. Karma, one learns, has an uncanny way of biting one in the ass. Or one hopes so at least.

10. Middle of the night messages which one does not regret the next morning are rare but possible.

11. Sometimes, the only option is damage control.

12. "Don't be a pimp. Or a hoe." (see below, and below the below)

(Find of the day: Someone else's somewhat disturbed but perhaps equally profound learnings which we can all stand to learn a thing or two from maybe...)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Appropriate eating venues

The mélange of alarm clocks, coffee, grumpiness and lovely weather is an ambiguous indication of how one's day will develop...

1. "Don't shit where you eat."

2. If you opt to eat outside, be prepared for the possibility that the mosquitoes did too.

3. Pampering oneself, although apparently extravagant, is somewhat of a necessity to re-feel like a human being.

4. The most unlikely contenders may often offer the best compliments.

5. Expect nothing. That way, everything that comes your way is a bonus.

6. One is inevitably grumpy in the morning unless greeted by a kiss, a wondrous cup of coffee and an unusually big stack of pancakes with real maple syrup. And by "one", I mean "me".

7. 'Sight-seeing' can be done from the confines of one's hotel room.

8. Given complicated circumstances, mutual attraction can yield horribly catastrophic and dangerously disastrous outcomes. Keep it in your head.

9. When one is intoxicated, one must not be allowed access to one's phone.

10. Coffee has 3 times the levels of antioxidants as green tea.

11. Chilling is usually accompanied by tea and complimenters. And puzzle sometimes.

12. There is a certain sense of calm that comes with finishing a satisfyingly great book.

13. If you think your job sucks, there is another one out there that is much much worse. (Illustrative example appears below for your reference.)

Delectably inebriated

Every now and then, and whatever form it takes, we all need a little 'tirami su'.......

1. When you are on the cusp of doing something which you are certain you will later regret, carefully consider the weight of enjoyment versus the weight of remorse, and then act accordingly.

2. "Pulling a Lara" (please refer to new definition) is more fun in the presence of its namesake.

3. A medium-sized Fendi bag accommodates a full bottle of vodka quite comfortably.

4. Being awoken by the unforewarned pounce of a love of your life makes the whole day a little more smiley.

5. In the absence of sunshine, you can always turn to a first-floor apartment, two bags of chips, three or so cigarettes and four gossipy friends instead.

6. If something tastes delectable when you are inebriated, you will feel reluctant to venture near it in times of uncharacteristic sobriety.

7. Certain 44th floor bars serve distinctly delicious olives. Which also happen to be within reach if sitting strategically at the bar.

8. When one uploads photo albums, one must be mentally prepared for the management, follow-up and feedback of the pictures. Oftentimes, comment moderation may require outsourcing.

9. When making your way to an early Sunday morning meeting, rest assured that your counterpart is just as sleepy and just as coffeeless as you.

10. Difficult conversations, although somewhat difficult to have, are even more difficult not to have.

11. If a gentleman remembers several details of an intoxicated exchange he shared with you, put him on the 'keepers' list.

12. The more alcohol coursing through one's veins, the more X-rated the topics of conversation one might be inclined to engage in.

13. When giving someone a gift, yes, it's the thought that counts. But it's usually also nice if the gift works.

14. Sometimes, not often, life is just like the movies.