Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Unwrapped to reveal a set of matching anythings

Heavily medicated with a good dose of chocolate...

1. Left undocumented, learnings still retain their intended weight and significance.

2. No man should ever buy a set of matching anythings. Unless they consist of diamonds and are being offered as a gift. To me.

3. At a birthday celebration, the priority is always that the birthday girl has the best day ever. And that a candle appears atop a dessert of some sort.

4. At a Secret Santa exchange, the volunteer Santa's hidden agenda is to trap an unsuspecting female in his lap.

5. One can be vague without being perplexing.

6. It is every girl's secret dream to be married more than once.

7. No man ever wants to be categorized as a medium.

8. One's level of tiredness is directly and reflectively correlated to one's level of happiness.

9. One should not blame one's failings on one's lineage.

10. "Everything you do under the table comes back to bite you from under the chair."

11. Visa and Mastercard can only be so generous.

12. You don't always get what you give, and credit does not always end up where credit is due.

13. Existing on other people's schedules is no way to exist.

14. Choosing songs to be added to someone's iPod is one of the sincerest forms of communication.

15. Comfortable silences are a far better alternative to uncomfortable chatter.

16. Unexpected yes devious discounts result in the expenditure of more funds.

17. Driving in the rain is rendered all the more convoluted when the nice white lines on the highway become muddled and obscure.

18. Wrapping paper is far more telling than one first anticipates.

19. Too much pressure diminishes the pleasure associated with certain life-enhancing activities.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Forgetfully mis-remembered

One's musical obsessions may or may not increase one's insanity levels...Regardless, they remain a great source of learnings.

1. Waking up late is sometimes rewarded with a lovely non-fat vanilla latte and a smile.

2. Too much of a good thing is not a good thing. Particularly in the case of especially good wine.

3. In bad times, a puzzle always comes in handy.

4. Never go shopping without a shopping list.

5. The recurring bumping-into-someone may or may not serve a higher purpose.

6. Family is a concept which is related at times to your relations and at others, to your relationships.

7. People will often do as much and go as far as they can possibly get away with.

8. Double standards render an otherwise likeable person highly unlikable.

9. Forgetting and mis-remembering are very similar yet very very different things.

10. 'Sister' is not simply a way to describe a person's relation to you, it is a position that can be filled by a very very elite few. Or a very elite one. It can also be a person's name.

11. Throwing two objects, as opposed to just one, at a public (and publicly humiliated) figure does not necessarily increase one's chance of hitting said figure.

12. "Hold your own, know your name, and go your own way..."

13. ...(Courtesy of

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Mr. Frost and Mr. Newton

A certain Mr. Frost once said, "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." Clever man, that Mr. Frost...

1. "No one is ever going to love you as much as you love you."

2. Mutual and addictive attachment is often and unfortunately misconstrued as love.

3. That last glass of champagne is always the one that does you in. Next time, don't have it.

4. "Drunk" does not equal "busy".

5. Actions speak louder than words, yes, but it is reactions that speak all the much louder.

6. Curly hair helps shape the illusion of laid back-ness and super relaxation.

7. Being different is not the same thing as being crazy. And regardless, neither is so bad after all.

8. "One must always climb the ladder step by step."

9. Always keep all your options open. Especially when it comes to lunch.

10. "Never tell your sisters you are going for a birthday event as they will not let you leave the house in your usual comfortable attire and insist you shower and shoe up."

11. In the company of a credit card, you will find it almost impossible not to whip it out and purchase some super flaky French biscuit chocolates.

12. Nursing a hangover with 3 consecutive glasses of the Diablo off-set by a steak, all kinds of carbs and a sinful medley of desserts is the only way to do so.

13. "Sex is the ultimate expression of death." (The wise-ish words of a certain quel qu'un.)

14. The secret dimension of travel and airlines also believes quite adamantly in karma. Getting a free day 'here' will always be supplemented by losing a free day 'there'.

15. Christmas shopping is a wonderful excuse to leave every retail endroit you enter with a bag of its wares.

16. "If it's a broken part, replace it. But, if it's a broken arm then brace it. If it's a broken heart then face it..."