Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mutually charming

learning, noun

1 : the act or experience of one that learns
2 : knowledge or skill acquired by instruction or study
3 : modification of a behavioral tendency by experience (as exposure to conditioning)

And now that you know what it means...

1. Never underestimate the power and presence of friends-by-default.

2. Perfectly unreliable people can also be perfectly nice people. Reliability and pleasantness are two mutually exclusive qualities.

3. If someone is "cute" and "reeeeeally nice", this doesn't make him any less married.

4. You cannot win or lose at 'food'. Examples include: pizza, or the spiciness of chicken.

5. In an unusually small world, dating news travels swiftly.

6. The show at the Moulin Rouge is, in actual fact, not that sexy. Especially if your hero and heroine are attracted to the same sex.

7. It is a good idea to surround yourself by people who love you in spite of your occasional hormonal aggression.

8. It would be terribly lovely to have "Block Sender" and "Report Spam" buttons in real life.

9. Drinking a lot of water results in a lot of trips to the bathroom and "hence" a lot of breaks throughout one's day. Drinking a lot of water is good for you.

10. When one puts one's mind to something, one can completely and triumphantly achieve it. Especially, I'd like to think, when one is aided by 'good vibes'.

11. Timesheets have a way of reminding you that someone else owns a third of your day. (Another third is spent asleep. Use the last third wisely.)

12. Food and eating-related emails always elicit passionate responses.

13. Thursday has an exquisite sort of charm, especially when one repeatedly and mistakenly believes it to be a Sunday.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My Blueberry Day

There is much to learn in the confines of one's own abode...

1. Looking through approximately 1,328 pictures of Italy and France makes one begin thinking that perhaps living in Italy and/or France is a thoroughly lovely idea. A far better idea than living in Dubai.

2. Watching 3 movies back to back on one's couch with a cup of tea is the best way to spend a Wednesday.

3. There is no such thing as regret when one had no choice.

4. Laundered, ironed bed sheets makes one consider crawling back into bed before the sun has even set.

5. One can survive a day on Early Grey tea and Water. And Kit Kat.

6. Even though you may had decided quite adamantly that your decision was the 'right' one, sometimes you have to let go of principle because there are things in life that are more important than others.

7. A faulty phone makes one feel unjustly lonely.

8. Sometimes, for no reason whatsoever, a girl just wants to be surrounded by beautiful flowers.

9. The prospect of a meal is exciting only in the presence of wonderful company.

10. "Sometimes, even if you have the keys, there are doors that still can't be opened."

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Surprising states of mind

"She can crawl out a frame while she's hanging on the wall..."

1. Communiation with family members lends itself to oddly bizarre topics of conversation, including but not limited to appropriate naming conventions and leaves.

2. Being 'chill' is far more comfortable than being stressed. Both states of being are simply a state of mind.

3. It is possible to miss people who live in the same country as you.

4. When surprised by a visit from one of the loves of your life, you will find it very difficult to stop smiling.

5. When distant shit hits the fan somewhere near, you might find yourself in the unfortunate position of having to clean it up. You will have no choice.

6. "Don't invite assholes to meetings."

7. If you know that the movie you are going to see is bad, then getting there early is necessary. The trailers are probably the best thing you'll see all night. (If you know that said movie is High School Musical 3, fret over how and why you ended up there and consider efficient and effective methods of removal of oneself.)

8. Wake-up calls are a simple but thoughful way to improve someone else's quality of life.

9. When someone you thought was perhaps interesting and intelligent cites 'The Da Vinci Code' as "the best book ever", quickly and quietly remove yourself from the discussion to avoid additional time wastage.

10. The most common massacre of the English language is the confusion of "your" and "you're". Yes, this stresses me out.

11. Talking to a machine, also known as 'leaving someone voicemail' is more perplexing than it sounds and may cause one to:
a) lose track of time
b) lost track of words escaping one's mouth
c) entertain the person on the receiving end

12. 'Eleventh hour learnings' often trigger the posting of said learnings. And are often the most important of posted learnings.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Dating in the Matrix

Mornings have a way of appearing deceptively optimistic...

1. If you come across a seemingly interesting person before a word has been exchanged, more often than not they will cease to be interesting once that first word is shared.

2. "A hat always gets you more attention from a man because it means one more article of clothing for him to remove."

3. Certain culinary concoctions are considerably and completely comforting.

4. Sleeping in for a an extra hour or so can be very disconcerting.

5. The more one is aware of the number of people reading one's words, the more carefully one deliberates, contests and chooses those words.

6. Cleaning out a fridge is utterly therapeutic.

7. You can win at chilling, but certainly not if you're in Sho Chos. Buddha Bar lends itself much more willingly as a venue to the task.

8. If one quits one's job to become a writer, one unwittingly eliminates one's abundant source of writing material. Cake for thought, so to speak.

9. (See diagram below. Self explanatory. And oh, thank you "bright, socially adept consultant".)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Inanimately objective

The Weekend Edition.
(Including an unexcpected re-learning from a lovely friend at an odd hour...)

1. "The most effective way to ignore something is to acknowledge its existence and deny its importance."

2. Rest assured that when you don't show up at work, no-one will call to see where you are. This, you will find, is oddly unnerving.

3. A bottle of wine is only as good as the company you drink it with.

4. Like putting together a puzzle, the best way to blow up 40 balloons is to outsource. And pay the labour in alcohol.

5. Spending an entire Friday at home, although blasphemous, is wonderfully calming.

6. Lunch, like puzzle, is not something you can 'win' or 'lose'.

7. Chilling, akin to puzzle and lunch, is also not something that you can 'win' or 'lose'. (Especially if your competitors are downing cocktails and you are sipping wine. In that case, you win and they lose.)

8. One always feels more special when one is mentioned in cake learnings.

9. Being a "guitar hero" is not the same thing as being a guitar hero. Yes, even if "you rock".

10. Never bet on the number of strawberry cheesecake slices a friend can eat. Chances are, you'll be wrong.

11. "Human-beings are over-rated."

12. When extricating oneself from the driver's seat of one's friend's vehicle, it is always preferable that the gear is not in drive. Otherwise, said car will begin to move forwards. This, apparently, is frowned upon.

13. The combination of good music and great company makes any sort of traffic bearable.

14. Being awake before noon on a Saturday is not so bad. Really.

15. People are unwittingly honest when making-believe.

16. Inanimate objects, like computers and phones, simply don't like me.

17. "When you feel you can't let go, let go."