Wednesday, December 17, 2008
1. Left undocumented, learnings still retain their intended weight and significance.
2. No man should ever buy a set of matching anythings. Unless they consist of diamonds and are being offered as a gift. To me.
3. At a birthday celebration, the priority is always that the birthday girl has the best day ever. And that a candle appears atop a dessert of some sort.
4. At a Secret Santa exchange, the volunteer Santa's hidden agenda is to trap an unsuspecting female in his lap.
5. One can be vague without being perplexing.
6. It is every girl's secret dream to be married more than once.
7. No man ever wants to be categorized as a medium.
8. One's level of tiredness is directly and reflectively correlated to one's level of happiness.
9. One should not blame one's failings on one's lineage.
10. "Everything you do under the table comes back to bite you from under the chair."
11. Visa and Mastercard can only be so generous.
12. You don't always get what you give, and credit does not always end up where credit is due.
13. Existing on other people's schedules is no way to exist.
14. Choosing songs to be added to someone's iPod is one of the sincerest forms of communication.
15. Comfortable silences are a far better alternative to uncomfortable chatter.
16. Unexpected yes devious discounts result in the expenditure of more funds.
17. Driving in the rain is rendered all the more convoluted when the nice white lines on the highway become muddled and obscure.
18. Wrapping paper is far more telling than one first anticipates.
19. Too much pressure diminishes the pleasure associated with certain life-enhancing activities.
Monday, December 15, 2008
2. Too much of a good thing is not a good thing. Particularly in the case of especially good wine.
3. In bad times, a puzzle always comes in handy.
4. Never go shopping without a shopping list.
5. The recurring bumping-into-someone may or may not serve a higher purpose.
6. Family is a concept which is related at times to your relations and at others, to your relationships.
7. People will often do as much and go as far as they can possibly get away with.
8. Double standards render an otherwise likeable person highly unlikable.
9. Forgetting and mis-remembering are very similar yet very very different things.
10. 'Sister' is not simply a way to describe a person's relation to you, it is a position that can be filled by a very very elite few. Or a very elite one. It can also be a person's name.
11. Throwing two objects, as opposed to just one, at a public (and publicly humiliated) figure does not necessarily increase one's chance of hitting said figure.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
1. "No one is ever going to love you as much as you love you."
2. Mutual and addictive attachment is often and unfortunately misconstrued as love.
3. That last glass of champagne is always the one that does you in. Next time, don't have it.
4. "Drunk" does not equal "busy".
5. Actions speak louder than words, yes, but it is reactions that speak all the much louder.
6. Curly hair helps shape the illusion of laid back-ness and super relaxation.
7. Being different is not the same thing as being crazy. And regardless, neither is so bad after all.
8. "One must always climb the ladder step by step."
9. Always keep all your options open. Especially when it comes to lunch.
10. "Never tell your sisters you are going for a birthday event as they will not let you leave the house in your usual comfortable attire and insist you shower and shoe up."
11. In the company of a credit card, you will find it almost impossible not to whip it out and purchase some super flaky French biscuit chocolates.
12. Nursing a hangover with 3 consecutive glasses of the Diablo off-set by a steak, all kinds of carbs and a sinful medley of desserts is the only way to do so.
13. "Sex is the ultimate expression of death." (The wise-ish words of a certain quel qu'un.)
14. The secret dimension of travel and airlines also believes quite adamantly in karma. Getting a free day 'here' will always be supplemented by losing a free day 'there'.
15. Christmas shopping is a wonderful excuse to leave every retail endroit you enter with a bag of its wares.
16. "If it's a broken part, replace it. But, if it's a broken arm then brace it. If it's a broken heart then face it..."
Thursday, December 11, 2008
1. You either want someone or you don't. There is no grey area. And if you don't, by definition, you are not allowed to have an opinion on who does. Otherwise, this is referred to as "having your cake and eating it too."
2. Bank people are the worst people to chat to right about midmorning if you need something done.
3. Repeatedly binging on certain fast-food constituents on anything more than a yearly basis is a horrible terrible horrendous terrifying mistake. Instead, one should contend with going to bed slightly intoxicated and with an inkling of hunger.
4. A semi-strict diet to become very hot is a better option than a very strict diet to become semi-hot.
5. "Women are like instruments, if you play them right, they will... hum."
6. Watching a concert from a VIP lounge is infinitely cooler than mixing with the masses.
7. A décapotable is not always as cool and easy breezy as the movies make it look. Especially when mazing through the big construction site that is this city.
8. There is a thin line between endearing and stalkerish.
9. When imparting words of any nature, one must be fully aware of the context in which they are imparted...
10. ...And when exchanging words, one much ensure that all parties speak the same language.
11. There is no such thing as a wasted day. Spending a day wasted, on the other hand, is encouraged.
"One minute I held the key, next the walls were closed on me, and I discovered that my castles stand, upon pillars of salt, pillars of sand..."
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
1. Remembering learnings over a 5-day vacation span is slightly unrealistic, especially given the presence of occasional alcoholism and naps.
2. Remembering what one did over a 5-day vacation span is very unrealistic, especially given the presence of frequent alcoholism and long naps and exciting poker games.
3. Love can come in the form of juice. Or jewelry.
4. Good things come in small packages. But small things can come in big packages.
5. 'Why not' is not an adequate reason why.
6. A couple of kilos is a fair price to pay for happiness.
7. Gifts are easy peasy. If you want your girlfriend to fall in love with you: Tiffany's, Cartier, Graff or DeBeers. If you want her to break up with you: Virgin Megastore gift voucher.
8. Apparently, a turkey gains cute-ness status only once stuffed, roasted, carved and consumed.
9. With increasing occurrence, the stock value of a long-distance call decreases considerably. Unless accompanied by a Western Union money transfer. In which case, stock value increases.
10. When it comes to Christmas gifts, it's the thought that counts. But if you have Visa and Mastercard on your side, the bigger the diamond the better.
11. An unusually large aquarium in a gaudy sprawling mall will draw a representative Dubai demographic.
12. The best way to justify the impulsive purchase of an expensive item is to convert the cost into another more valuable currency. The sound of the number feels much better.
13. It is little worrisome when you find you are relating a little too much to a little gem of a book with the little word "booty" right there in the title.
14. The amount of seafood which a group of people can eat in one sitting is equal to the amount of seafood which makes it to the table.
15. A maid is the one indispensable luxury which one should never skimp on. Along with over-priced morning coffees and croissants.
16. Feeling forgotten and being forgotten are two very different things.
17. Electronics stores have especially gruesomely unsightly lighting.
18. In the absence of cuddly sweaters and falling snow, that special Christmas feeling can be simulated by the buying of many many super duper cool gifts.
19. There is nothing that lifts the spirits quite like lovely weather, lots and lots of smiles and the prospect of lunch with a good friend.
20. The longer the break between learnings, the longer the learnings...
Thursday, December 4, 2008
1. "When it comes to food, you should always only ever be tasting."
2. It is always better to regret something that you did rather than something you didn't do.
3. Detachment, of any sort, is much easier than one is led to believe.
4. There are people in your life who will eternally teach you things without realising they are doing so.
5. Not all calls need to be answered.
6. When you lay your cards on the table, you are inherently stating your openness to alter them.
7. There's nothing quite like a grand gesture.
8. At times, the game is more important than the end result.
9. It is sometimes necessary to go the distance just to make a statement.
10. When in doubt, let the weather decide for you.
11. Controversial events from the past make confirming their dates all the more controversial.
12. Control is something we like to believe we always have. The actuality is alarmingly the opposite.
13. The semblance of independence is a deceiving mask for the deep reality of dependence.
14. Some learnings, one learns, are too valuable to share selflessly.
Great musician, wonderful learning.
(Courtesy of someone who, I know, like me, believes in the importance of learning...)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
1. A day off will totally throw you off.
2. When being close enough is not an option, one must contend with being close enough.
3. "Short hair is better than anything Victoria's Secret can ever come up with."
4. If you're not moving forward, you are only moving backwards.
5. A rebound is not a solution; it's a distraction.
6. The same trip in a different car makes for an altogether different trip.
7. "The fish is more important than the phonecall."
8. When weighed down by too much emotional baggage, one must do all one can to simply lose it. You might miss your stuff, but the airline will reimburse you somewhat and you will feel much lighter afterwards.
9. When you miss 'your person', you miss 'your person'. The only solution is the regaining of said person back in your world.
10. The most interesting of 3-ways occur unexpectedly across different time zones and during the witching hour for some. And at the expense of certain investment and financial advisory firms.
11. Implementation of the suffix "-ish" is a completely acceptable form of communication enhancement when one is attempting to remain 'easy breezy'.
12. An early evening nap on a comfortable couch and fluffy pillow can only lead to a late night drink and complex card game.
13. "When you escape the tiger you don't hang around to give him a long last look goodbye. That's when he'll eat you alive."
14. A good friend is one who will let you hear the same sappy song several several several times in a row.
(Yes, a little obsessed. But how can you say no to a little John Mayer as the icing on top?)
Monday, December 1, 2008
1. Not everyone has a happy place. Some of us only have a dark and twisty place.
2. A poor pretend husband with a discount is better than a rich pretend one without.
3. Beach plans cannot exist independently of the weather.
4. Under-rating oneself is a sneaky way of causing oneself to be over-valued.
5. Sometimes not talking about something is the only way to solve it.
6. "It is not a bad thing to admit one's true intentions."
7. Strange evenings can only lead to strange dreams and can only be succeeded by strange mornings extending into strange days.
8. "Always seems to me, you only see what people want you to see."
9. Eleventh hour learnings often require 11th hour postings. And often quite literally so.
10. Depending on one's internal currency, honesty can be worth a plethora of values.
11. Smell is the strongest sense tied to memory.
12. Indirect communication and direct miscommunication are two very two-way streets.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
1. "I am at the mercy of gravity."
2. When received in exchange for cars and diamonds, smiles and hugs become very much overrated.
3. Not all beings understand the concept of sarcasm.
4. 'Crazy' is only a matter of perspective.
5. "Listen, you can't have everything." (Very similar to a certain cake-themed learning...)
6. In the absence of physical proof, airtight and ironclad explanations are required to validate denial.
7. Eating is not a necessity, it is an activity that one partakes in given the company of good friends...
8. ...and drinking on an empty stomach is indeed a very efficient path to inebriation!
9. Solace can be found in the most unexpected of best friends, good friends or acquaintances.
10. Emotional detachment and unemotional attachment sit on opposite ends of a convoluted spectrum.
11. It is entirely and understandably possible to dislike something, someplace or someone simply based on their role in relation to you. Theory of relativity.
12. There is nothing more frustrating than sheer incompetence.
13. One can be bitchy without in actual fact being a bitch.
14. "Boyfriends are a bit of a hassle."
15. Murphy was right. What ever can go wrong, will go wrong. Very very wrong.
16. Generic pet names can often achieve the opposite of their intended result. Cryptically personal is far more appealing.
17. Sharing one's learnings while with-holding information can only lead to a terribly cryptic form of distressing internal confusion.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
1. Someone may be nice enough, but that doesn't make them nice enough.
2. Being "Dubaiian" and being "Western" are two very very unrelated concepts.
3. "You're not supposed to look like your jeans, your jeans are supposed to look like you!"
4. Some words carry too much responsibility to be uttered carelessly.
5. You always have a choice. (A repeat I believe, but reiteration is sometimes warranted...)
6. No matter how fun the game was, if you lost, you still lost.
7. Tea can be a big hassle or tea can be simple and chill.
8. Silly problems often require silly solutions.
9. If one has not entered a radio competition, one is unlikely to have won a Mazda 6 on the radio. If one does in fact win a Mazda 6, one should use it for the purposes of conveying yellow roses.
10. Your lack of ability to spell a word doesn't make you any less allowed to use it.
11. A refusal to acknowledge certain weather conditions in certain places is a normal reaction to a consistent climatic abnormality.
12. One must be cut-throat when attempting to secure coveted free tickets for a friend.
13. Waking up on the right side of bed is often associated with a yester-evening of great wine, good company and a hopeless card game.
14. Being a good friend can take on many forms, most of which are unfortunately and unforeseeably misinterpreted.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
1. When one starts one's day on the wrong side of one's bed, one must do all one can to minimise the length of one's said day.
2. Therapy can be stumbled upon by the most unsuspecting of people in the most unsuspecting of places.
3. Music is often a safe alternative to conversation in the morning.
4. When sending a message, employ as much code as coherently possible; you never know who you might have sent it to by mistake instead.
5. When the stars are aligned correctly, a series of playful cryptic exchanges can result in finding oneself surrounded by more flowers than ever previously fathomed.
6. Art is defined as art when someone believes it to be so.
7. Suggesting a bigger size is never an option.
8. Although often associated, being honest and being blunt are two very very different things.
9. It is best to avoid transparent clothing when shopping for your daily wardrobe.
10. On rare events, certain menu items taste much better than they look. In times of famishment/selfishness, one much keep this information deceptively confidential.
11. Crazy behaviour, it seems, is more acceptable than previously thought.
12. Be careful what you throw at people:
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
1. "Perception is more important than what actually is."
2. Question marks, more often than not, are unnecessary.
3. When one plans to go somewhere "out of the way" where they are surrounded by no-one they know, one will undoubtedly bump into everyone they know.
4. If you feel guilty about not having seen someone, chances are they are feeling guilty too. Make the first move.
5. The beach is not so awful after all...
6. ... and a tan can only be achieved in the absence of sunscreen.
7. "When you opt for musical therapy, what you are left with after it's all passed are beautiful songs laced with poignantly negative feelings."
8. Cryptic wall posts render the act of posting on someone's wall much more calculating.
9. Folding laundry while inebriated requires approximately 3.46 times as much time and 4.39 times as much energy as when attempted sober.
10. An empty wine bar leaves plenty of space for 'interesting' conversation.
11. Fireworks are expensive.
12. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
13. The only person to spot your mistake will be the one person who will hold it against you :)
14. The one Friday night you choose not to go out is the same Friday night on which you will be unable to fall asleep anytime before 6:38am.
15. "You shouldn't have to be anything other than totally content without even the teeniest exception. You shouldn't care about any guy who isn't a raging, blatant superhero. That's what we need in life, anything else is simply not worth bothering with. "
16. One must always apologize if one feels that they have behaved badly.
See below (always clickable for source)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
1. Missing someone can be somewhat healthy.
2. A leaked hotel guest list can cause one to become excessively sneaky, albeit in complete vain!
3. A "rich husband" may not be all that it's cracked up to be.
4. An email sans body can nevertheless make one smile in the morning.
5. The longer things run smoothly, the bigger the crash at the end of the tunnel.
6. Professional comfort is an urban legend. The omnipresence of office politics and air conditioning always interfere.
7. Honesty is best expressed in writing. Or in drunkeness.
8. "It seems to me that maybe, it pretty much always means no."
9. Acknowledging one's existence while denying their importance is tricky business indeed.
10. Law of transitive property: Mailing lists belonging to cool people tend to consist of likewise cool people.
11. One must attempt to live by rock 'n' roll rules. See below for details.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
1. Consistent Sleep Deprivation (CSD) can't possibly be good for one's physiology, nervous system or mental health.
2. In times of CSD, Consistent Coffee Deprivation (CCD) can't possibly be good for one's physiology, nervous system or mental health.
3. Timing is key when cooking several things at once, especially if said meal includes mashed potatoes.
4. Cooking is often seen as a daunting task which, if achieved correctly, may mean exponential return business.
5. People may say a lot of things. Meaning what they say is a whole different ballgame.
6. Apple juice is a meagre replacement for coffee.
7. "Conversation is where life gets interesting."
8. Documenting learnings while under stress yields disjointed and seemingly incomplete results.
1. For most, interest in a member of the opposite sex is inversely proportional to the attention received from said member.
2. Separating business and pleasure is a skill which, once mastered, makes life much easier.
3. Spelling mistakes on a government website make one seriously rethink their geographic choices.
4. Being nice and being intelligent are also mutually exclusive.
5. Cards, unlike puzzle, food and chilling, is something that you can win at. For some, it is only ever something you can lose at.
6. WARNING: Objects (of one's affection) are closer than they appear.
7. One must manoeuvre one's political environment very knowledgeably and very carefully.
8. When given the chance, most people are inherently good. The rest, once identified, must be avoided like the plague.
9. Karma, one learns, has an uncanny way of biting one in the ass. Or one hopes so at least.
10. Middle of the night messages which one does not regret the next morning are rare but possible.
11. Sometimes, the only option is damage control.
12. "Don't be a pimp. Or a hoe." (see below, and below the below)
(Find of the day: Someone else's somewhat disturbed but perhaps equally profound learnings which we can all stand to learn a thing or two from maybe...)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
1. "Don't shit where you eat."
2. If you opt to eat outside, be prepared for the possibility that the mosquitoes did too.
3. Pampering oneself, although apparently extravagant, is somewhat of a necessity to re-feel like a human being.
4. The most unlikely contenders may often offer the best compliments.
5. Expect nothing. That way, everything that comes your way is a bonus.
6. One is inevitably grumpy in the morning unless greeted by a kiss, a wondrous cup of coffee and an unusually big stack of pancakes with real maple syrup. And by "one", I mean "me".
7. 'Sight-seeing' can be done from the confines of one's hotel room.
8. Given complicated circumstances, mutual attraction can yield horribly catastrophic and dangerously disastrous outcomes. Keep it in your head.
9. When one is intoxicated, one must not be allowed access to one's phone.
10. Coffee has 3 times the levels of antioxidants as green tea.
11. Chilling is usually accompanied by tea and complimenters. And puzzle sometimes.
12. There is a certain sense of calm that comes with finishing a satisfyingly great book.
13. If you think your job sucks, there is another one out there that is much much worse. (Illustrative example appears below for your reference.)
1. When you are on the cusp of doing something which you are certain you will later regret, carefully consider the weight of enjoyment versus the weight of remorse, and then act accordingly.
2. "Pulling a Lara" (please refer to new definition) is more fun in the presence of its namesake.
3. A medium-sized Fendi bag accommodates a full bottle of vodka quite comfortably.
4. Being awoken by the unforewarned pounce of a love of your life makes the whole day a little more smiley.
5. In the absence of sunshine, you can always turn to a first-floor apartment, two bags of chips, three or so cigarettes and four gossipy friends instead.
6. If something tastes delectable when you are inebriated, you will feel reluctant to venture near it in times of uncharacteristic sobriety.
7. Certain 44th floor bars serve distinctly delicious olives. Which also happen to be within reach if sitting strategically at the bar.
8. When one uploads photo albums, one must be mentally prepared for the management, follow-up and feedback of the pictures. Oftentimes, comment moderation may require outsourcing.
9. When making your way to an early Sunday morning meeting, rest assured that your counterpart is just as sleepy and just as coffeeless as you.
10. Difficult conversations, although somewhat difficult to have, are even more difficult not to have.
11. If a gentleman remembers several details of an intoxicated exchange he shared with you, put him on the 'keepers' list.
12. The more alcohol coursing through one's veins, the more X-rated the topics of conversation one might be inclined to engage in.
13. When giving someone a gift, yes, it's the thought that counts. But it's usually also nice if the gift works.
14. Sometimes, not often, life is just like the movies.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
1 : the act or experience of one that learns
2 : knowledge or skill acquired by instruction or study
3 : modification of a behavioral tendency by experience (as exposure to conditioning)
And now that you know what it means...
1. Never underestimate the power and presence of friends-by-default.
2. Perfectly unreliable people can also be perfectly nice people. Reliability and pleasantness are two mutually exclusive qualities.
3. If someone is "cute" and "reeeeeally nice", this doesn't make him any less married.
4. You cannot win or lose at 'food'. Examples include: pizza, or the spiciness of chicken.
5. In an unusually small world, dating news travels swiftly.
6. The show at the Moulin Rouge is, in actual fact, not that sexy. Especially if your hero and heroine are attracted to the same sex.
7. It is a good idea to surround yourself by people who love you in spite of your occasional hormonal aggression.
8. It would be terribly lovely to have "Block Sender" and "Report Spam" buttons in real life.
9. Drinking a lot of water results in a lot of trips to the bathroom and "hence" a lot of breaks throughout one's day. Drinking a lot of water is good for you.
10. When one puts one's mind to something, one can completely and triumphantly achieve it. Especially, I'd like to think, when one is aided by 'good vibes'.
11. Timesheets have a way of reminding you that someone else owns a third of your day. (Another third is spent asleep. Use the last third wisely.)
12. Food and eating-related emails always elicit passionate responses.
13. Thursday has an exquisite sort of charm, especially when one repeatedly and mistakenly believes it to be a Sunday.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
1. Looking through approximately 1,328 pictures of Italy and France makes one begin thinking that perhaps living in Italy and/or France is a thoroughly lovely idea. A far better idea than living in Dubai.
2. Watching 3 movies back to back on one's couch with a cup of tea is the best way to spend a Wednesday.
3. There is no such thing as regret when one had no choice.
4. Laundered, ironed bed sheets makes one consider crawling back into bed before the sun has even set.
5. One can survive a day on Early Grey tea and Water. And Kit Kat.
6. Even though you may had decided quite adamantly that your decision was the 'right' one, sometimes you have to let go of principle because there are things in life that are more important than others.
7. A faulty phone makes one feel unjustly lonely.
8. Sometimes, for no reason whatsoever, a girl just wants to be surrounded by beautiful flowers.
9. The prospect of a meal is exciting only in the presence of wonderful company.
10. "Sometimes, even if you have the keys, there are doors that still can't be opened."
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
1. Communiation with family members lends itself to oddly bizarre topics of conversation, including but not limited to appropriate naming conventions and leaves.
2. Being 'chill' is far more comfortable than being stressed. Both states of being are simply a state of mind.
3. It is possible to miss people who live in the same country as you.
4. When surprised by a visit from one of the loves of your life, you will find it very difficult to stop smiling.
5. When distant shit hits the fan somewhere near, you might find yourself in the unfortunate position of having to clean it up. You will have no choice.
6. "Don't invite assholes to meetings."
7. If you know that the movie you are going to see is bad, then getting there early is necessary. The trailers are probably the best thing you'll see all night. (If you know that said movie is High School Musical 3, fret over how and why you ended up there and consider efficient and effective methods of removal of oneself.)
8. Wake-up calls are a simple but thoughful way to improve someone else's quality of life.
9. When someone you thought was perhaps interesting and intelligent cites 'The Da Vinci Code' as "the best book ever", quickly and quietly remove yourself from the discussion to avoid additional time wastage.
10. The most common massacre of the English language is the confusion of "your" and "you're". Yes, this stresses me out.
11. Talking to a machine, also known as 'leaving someone voicemail' is more perplexing than it sounds and may cause one to:
a) lose track of time
b) lost track of words escaping one's mouth
c) entertain the person on the receiving end
12. 'Eleventh hour learnings' often trigger the posting of said learnings. And are often the most important of posted learnings.
Monday, November 10, 2008
1. If you come across a seemingly interesting person before a word has been exchanged, more often than not they will cease to be interesting once that first word is shared.
2. "A hat always gets you more attention from a man because it means one more article of clothing for him to remove."
3. Certain culinary concoctions are considerably and completely comforting.
4. Sleeping in for a an extra hour or so can be very disconcerting.
5. The more one is aware of the number of people reading one's words, the more carefully one deliberates, contests and chooses those words.
6. Cleaning out a fridge is utterly therapeutic.
7. You can win at chilling, but certainly not if you're in Sho Chos. Buddha Bar lends itself much more willingly as a venue to the task.
8. If one quits one's job to become a writer, one unwittingly eliminates one's abundant source of writing material. Cake for thought, so to speak.
9. (See diagram below. Self explanatory. And oh, thank you "bright, socially adept consultant".)
Sunday, November 9, 2008
(Including an unexcpected re-learning from a lovely friend at an odd hour...)
1. "The most effective way to ignore something is to acknowledge its existence and deny its importance."
2. Rest assured that when you don't show up at work, no-one will call to see where you are. This, you will find, is oddly unnerving.
3. A bottle of wine is only as good as the company you drink it with.
4. Like putting together a puzzle, the best way to blow up 40 balloons is to outsource. And pay the labour in alcohol.
5. Spending an entire Friday at home, although blasphemous, is wonderfully calming.
6. Lunch, like puzzle, is not something you can 'win' or 'lose'.
7. Chilling, akin to puzzle and lunch, is also not something that you can 'win' or 'lose'. (Especially if your competitors are downing cocktails and you are sipping wine. In that case, you win and they lose.)
8. One always feels more special when one is mentioned in cake learnings.
9. Being a "guitar hero" is not the same thing as being a guitar hero. Yes, even if "you rock".
10. Never bet on the number of strawberry cheesecake slices a friend can eat. Chances are, you'll be wrong.
11. "Human-beings are over-rated."
12. When extricating oneself from the driver's seat of one's friend's vehicle, it is always preferable that the gear is not in drive. Otherwise, said car will begin to move forwards. This, apparently, is frowned upon.
13. The combination of good music and great company makes any sort of traffic bearable.
14. Being awake before noon on a Saturday is not so bad. Really.
15. People are unwittingly honest when making-believe.
16. Inanimate objects, like computers and phones, simply don't like me.
17. "When you feel you can't let go, let go."
Thursday, November 6, 2008
1. 'Puzzle' is not a game. You cannot be winning or losing. You cannot be in 1st, 4th or 17th place.
2. Odd days are best shared by those on the same frequency.
3. Being referred to as "encyclopedic" is, apparently, a compliment.
4. Even when stuck in a tree, not all kittens need to be rescued. Some learn how to get down on their own.
5. The most attractive ____________ is the one that doesn't ask for your friendship. (Please insert as appropriate.)
6. A musical education teaches you about more than just music.
7. Sometimes, we find ourselves having been friends with someone for so long, that they acquire the status of "friend by default".
8. Split ends cannot be repaired, they can only be cut off.
9. The Dubai Air Show is a great place to snare excessively rich, private-jet shopping, hopefully eligible bachelors.
10. It's tough to plan a surprise birthday party if you cannot confirm the attendance of the main party.
11. "Ignoring something is walking right through it even when it is standing in your way."
12. It's a small world. Whether this is positive or negative is yet to be seen, pending a lifetime of review.
13. When choosing a diamond, pick clarity over carat, but cut over colour.
14. In order to maximize the revenue on one's learnings, one must always always remember relevant learnings in times of relevance.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
1. Even when we get to do what we want to and what we never imagine we'd be able to, we often don't get to do it in the way we would like to.
2. One's problems can be solved in the space and time of an elevator ride.
3. Waking up to the news of change is a great way to start the day. And eliminates snoozing. As does a missed call from someone miles, miles and MILES away!
4. Small and seemingly insignificant purchases can genuinely make one's day.
5. Nostalgia is a dangerous emotion, and often the cause of most "moments of weakness".
6. General 'missage' of the sister leads to more gifts bought for said sister.
7. Electing someone who is at or nearing life expectancy can't be wise. He's on borrowed time.
8. Making someone wait for a reply is a cruel but effective method of gaining the upper hand.
9. Bed sheets, once laundered, must be ironed.
10. A little consideration can go a long way.
11. Expensive hand soap and lotion renders the act of hand-washing much more enjoyable, yet much more guilt-laden than it should be.
12. Being smitten is a treacherously life-threatening state of being.
13. You are more likely to score a great parking spot if you are a nice person with manners.
14. When planning, delegation is key.
15. "Change" can also exist in the form of a covert haircut...
16. The easiest way to cast your second lead character is to cast the first one twice.
17. Like television, make-up also comes in high-definition.
18. "In a sit-com, you don't need to be funny, you just need to be relatable."
19. When building a wall, carefully consider the longevity of the bricks you use.
20. Sometimes the steak & burger analogy just doesn't cut it. No matter how rare the meat.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
1. 'I told you so', no matter how extremely warranted, is often unnecessary.
2. "Nothing is real until you start making money."
3. Talking about having children renders even some of the most verbose awkwardly speechless.
4. Pasta sauce is yummier when left to simmer. For hours.
5. The easiest way to see the person you live with is to occasionally spend some time in the place you live.
6. It is pretty easy to take something personally when you don't understand the other person's reasons and intentions.
7. Cooking while watching a movie about cooking makes cooking far more exciting and glamorous. Even if it's a movie about a rat.
8. Most intelligent people cannot use apostrophes correctly.
9. It is a rare and enchanting gift when one encounters another soul on the same frequency.
10. Being met with a package is always nice when arriving at a cluttered desk, and somewhat vaguely impressive to your neighbouring collegues.
11. "Life ain't what it seems."
12. You can grill meat on a PlayStation 3.
13. That odd instant when you have just woken up but are still sleeping is the most disorienting of the whole day.
14. 'There she goes', written by and originally performed by The La's (and not Sixpence None The Richer), is really about heroin, and not about a girl.
15. "Ice cream" is always the best answer to "What shoud we have for lunch?" Namely, double dark chocolate with oreos and heath bar. In a waffle cone. No, no sprinkles.
16. 7,634 songs on shuffle results in a troublingly appropriate soundtrack to complete one's day.
17. I have an irrationally compulsive affinity to adverbs.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Somewhat educational. Wholly entertaining:
1. The same question asked of the same person in the same moment by two people can yield two very different answers, much to the chagrin of one of the people.
2. Answering a call from your equally verbose counterpart at 12:26am can only result in a 2:32am bedtime.
3. The Mona Lisa is just as intriguing as a puzzle as she is as a painting. If not more.
4. Sometimes, you just gotta party like it's 1999......
5. The chillest coolest people out there are sports events organizers. And outsourced puzzle labourers.
6. A to-do list makes it more fun to-do things.
7. One is more likely to feel smiley when one is wearing bright pink rather than when one is wearing gloomy grey.
8. It takes quite the effort to see the person you live with, regardless of how wonderful they are.
9. What a lovely feeling to receive a package in the mail! (Even when it's not addressed to you!)
10. The fewer the unread pages remaining in a good book, the more valuable they become.
11. Having been in someone's shoes makes it much easier to recognize them when you see them.
12. Once you've gotten used to great steak, you simply cannot (and cannot simply!) return to having fast-food burgers.
13. "A black cat is like a beautiful woman: she is intimidating to those who are too scared to get close enough to understand her."
14. The loveliness factor of one's day has absolutely nothing to do with the weather.
15. Pineapple, apparently, has some pretty interesting pretty R-rated side effects. (No elaboration to be provided. One should do one's own research!)
16. There is such thing as too much lobster, true, but only within a 24 hour period.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
1. A cosmopolitan at 3pm can only lead to an irresponsible shopping spree at Harvey Nichols and Tiffany's. Sans breakfast.
2. Explaining a Halloween costume is not necessary. Nobody listens past the word "slutty".
3. There is such thing as too much lobster.
4. Double entendres are highly entertaining, albeit sometimes elitestly so.
5. Late night chats with wonderful friends are exhaustingly enlightening. Even when disguisingly accompanied by a late night cup of tea or puzzle-making attempt.
6. Everyone has their story. Nobody leaves this world without one.
7. 'Consultants with social skills' is a narrowing pool of rare individuals. They can often be identified as the ones who can dance.
8. People's decisions are theirs to make, whether it be the right decision or wrong decision.
9. Some people, no matter how absent, have a way of being distressingly omnipresent.
10. A charming man with an accent is far more charming than a charming man without one.
11. Tiffany's is the only place to go when you have the mean reds...
12. Puzzles are excitingly intriguing when progress is being made. When faced with a lack of progress, one should politely sip on one's tea and point out certain pieces to the outsourced labour.
13. Sometimes first impressions are just that.
14. Musical exchanges lead to literary exchanges; both of which are dangerously revealing.
15. An owed favour is a highly appreciative currency. Invest.
16. Delivering a false hope is paramount on the list of irresponsible behaviour. Some questions are better left unanswered.
17. When guessing the amount of a bill and your wild "imagine-if" guess wins, it's usually not a good thing.
18. You can't have your cake and eat it too. But it's always okay to have just a slice.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
1. "The only reason you buy a bag from Mango is because Marc is inaccessible and you simply cannot afford it. Even though you would rather have a Marc, and you know the Mango will inevitable fall apart, you just have no choice."
2. Evenings spent with certain friends are always random. Yet very very enjoyable.
3. Grocery shopping alone is no fun at all.
4. Chats with mother are a great source of entertainment. And occasionally, love. But mainly entertainment.
5. When a friend confides in you, the only option you have is to support them.
6. 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' and the question it poses will will never have a "right answer".
7. One should learn the delicate art of saying "no".
8. "When Rod Stewart was cool he used to be in a band called The Faces, who because of Ronnie the bassist had strong links to The Rolling Stones - he went on to join the later, shitter version of the Stones."
9. A sign is a good enough reason to do or not do something. Great enough reason.
10. To the large majority of girls out there, "Halloween costume" is synonymous with "slutty outfit". If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
11. Fake meetings are the lottery tickets of a horrendous week.
12. Dave Matthews knows exactly how I feel.
13. Allowing someone to take care of you is not a sign of weakness.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
1. "It takes a certain kind of foot to fill the void left in a pair of Manolos".
2. Sometimes a cigarette is better than dessert. But ideally one should have both.
3. The key to making a man happy is to make him think he made the decision.
4. An unfinished book, no matter how once-engaging, must be closed, shelved or finished before a new one can be opened...
5. Conversations about music are far more revealing than one first believes.
6. "He just gets better with age, he's like a fine wine!"
7. When presented with seemingly important and supposedly life-changing information, stop and ask yourself "So what?"
8. Few women answer the age-old question of 'What do you look for in a man?' honestly.
9. Reading a friend's account of their achievements and hopes and dreams is inspiring.
10. There's a difference between fashion and style.
11. Radiohead are terribly depressing yet terribly calming. It's a wonderfully strange effect.
12. Even though we may deep-down believe something to be true, it is always reassuring to hear it from an objective source.
13. Sugar-free red bull and a Marlboro light do not comprise "lunch".
14. Sometimes lending a sweater to a friend makes you feel warmer than if you were wearing it yourself.
15. Devising a super-duper-cool halloween costume is terribly taxing and an unnecessary source of stress.
16. Outsourcing a puzzle is the best way to get it done.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
1. Getting screwed over twice in the same day, by the same person, is not much fun. Especially if the person in question is not much fun.
2. A great first date does not guarantee a "happily ever after".
3. Never underestimate the strength of a bond between comrades.
4. A series of unfortunate events often prevents two people from forming an otherwise great bond. We cannot control or change this. There will always be an elephant in the room.
5. When someone takes something from you, don't expect it to be handed back to you. Go after it. But only if it's worth getting back.
6. A skim milk vanilla latte with a lovely flaky croissant is the best way to start one's day. No matter how horrible the events which follow are. Holly Golightly had it right.
7. If you feel guilty about something, it doesn't necessarily mean you are wrong.
8. Apologies are seldom sincere. They are more often the antidote to terrible terrible guilt. People sleep better once they have "apologized".
9. Soap is very very hard to sell.
10. Well-written emails are hard to come by. As is an adequate vocabulary.
11. Unexpected compliments from unexpected people are unexpectedly pleasant.
12. A caramel-filled chocolate bar is a temporary fix. A bigger bar may be more effective. The jury is still out.
13. Starting your day incongruously with a ride from a friendly soul must have a hidden meeting and contain a cryptic message. To be uncovered...
14. Always make the power play. Even if the outcome is the same, you land on the opposite end of the mojo spectrum.
Monday, October 27, 2008
1. To cut straight to the chase, "if he doesn't propose as soon as he meets you, he's just not that into you" (!) (a more comprehensive list to follow)
2. If you don't say "no", they will assume you meant "yes".
3. Impromptu DVD nights are the best kind.
4. Impromptu chats (initiated by heart-stopping scares) with one's roommate at odd hours feels strangely normal, especially if one is discussing the mundane.
5. PQ make excellent brownies.
6. One must ask for 4 wake-up calls in order to secure one. 25% success rate. Not awful.
7. Soap is not that easy to sell.
8. When the market in which you operate does so in the manner of a third world one, third world ideas are inevitable, if not expected.
9. Cigarettes before noon are an ominous indication of things to come.
10. The correct amount of coffee grounds needed to make an excellent cup of turkish coffee is not the amount I thought it would be. More experimentation required to learn said correct amount.
11. The easiest way to make someone's day is through carefully planted, supposedly unintentional flattery.
12. Bob Dylan improves one's day considerably... as does a concomitantly coincidental phone call.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
1. V short black dresses are a great investment.
2. An undisclosed, overpriced number of shots usually do the job. A little too well.
3. "Going with the flow" and "Acting on every impulse" are two very different things and must not be confused.
4. Outsourcing a puzzle may or may not be the best way to get it done. (Point of contention to be settled this week.)
5. Children between the ages of 7 and 15 are vile creatures.
6. Getting to work at noon is ideal. Hence, my goal is to find a high paying, low stress, dress-code flexible PART-TIME job.
7. One should not drive a real car in the same manner that one drives a go-kart. Otherwise, one should just invest in a go-kart. Especially if one lives in Barsha.
8. The name of the game is the "ten-year plan"... (Again, thank you, you know who you are)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
1. Breakfast is not the most important meal of the day. It's the most terrifying. Especially in the presence of bad company, or having to write a press release about it for a not-so-bad company.
2. Time differences suck. Maybe a flat earth would have served me better.
3. My colleagues are terrible pranksters with no scruples. I must adopt their ways.
4. If you thought it would be a lovely idea to have lunch outside in the lovely weather, so did a lot of other people.
5. Sugarfree Redbull must have some horrendous side effects because its effects are truly magical. You could say I feel like I could fly, like I have wings so to speak.
6. There is nothing quite like an A/C war to spice up office life.
7. If you have nothing to say to someone, then don't pick up the phone to call them. It's perplexingly awkward.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
1. You can never be too thorough. Seriously.
2. It's easier to wake up after one snooze than it is to wake up after 8 snoozes. Yes it's possible to snooze 8 times.
3. Wearing some sort of make-up leads to more people smiling at you. Which leads me to believe that I may look horrendous sans...
4. It's hard to say no to a tall, handsome "colleague" with lovely eyes. And a ravishing smile.
5. "Sometimes you have to make your choice... and know and bear the consequences when they happen" (Thank you, you know who you are)
6. The Blackberry vs. iPhone debate gets people's knickers in a twist. As does the Obama vs. McCain debate.
7. Having lunch outside is lovely. You get to smoke and keep your sunglasses on and check out handsome strangers discreetly.
8. When your phone rings it's either:
a) never who you want it to be OR
b) the last person you expect.
Both are terribly unnerving and irksome.
9. A really great book is one that you can't stop thinking about even as you do the terribly exciting or the terribly mundane...
10. The "nicest" colleagues can say the most inappropriate things sometimes. It's shocking really.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
So here are today's "Things I've Learned":
1. Watching a movie over and over is not time wasted; you notice new things each time and depending on when you watch it, it carries a different meaning. Unless you are watching Zoolander for the hundredth time and you are not a male model with limited brain capacity.
2. Sleeping early does not ensure that you wake up early. And each time you hit snooze, it gets easier to hit snooze.
3. You should not crave a tall non-fat vanilla latte on the day that you choose to wear a Starbucks-branded "I loved being a tourist in New York t-shirt" for the first time. Especially if you actually go to Starbucks. And going to an alternative coffee-place, although perhaps less geeky, is more potentially poisonous.
4. Phones are funny devices and will often screw you over when you need them to function the most.
5. ATM machines have a secret soul and mischievous sense of humour. Enough said.
6. Cab drivers in Dubai never have change. OR a solution when you tell them that you have no change.
7. No dream is often more satisfying than a sweet dream. Especially upon waking up and realising that it's Tuesday, 9:34am and morning. Not Saturday, 3:28pm and not morning.
8. Lunch is the most over-rated meal of the day. Unless you're at the Atlantis and can take a long nap with fishies staring at you from an aquarium right after.
9. Mental health is the most important health of all.
10. It's all about timing...
Monday, March 3, 2008
- I am being offered something that I don't want. I will refuse (albeit hesitantly). The outcome will be positive (there is light ahead of me. It is good but far. I am looking at this 'light' and doing anything and everything in order to attain it)
- Meeting: Along with one other person, I will meet someone important but also very nice, will give me a lot of ideas, which require hard work. This person has a great POV.
- I will meet a guy who is very interested in me--WARNING: he only wants to play around, not sincerily interested. My mistake? I am going to tell someone else about this which is going to make them upset. One good thing will come out of telling. (nice and vague, thanks Mom)
- Lately, there is a person (namely, guy) in my life- contact with this guy has decreased his contact with me, but despite this, he is still "there" and listening to me. I want him to know certain things and listen to certain points and ultimately he will be convinced.
- There is someone who is supporting me and 'carrying' me in many aspects of my life.
- I have been busy a lot lately; not in the mood to party anymore; missing someone.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
- "Someone has their eye on me" (translated from my mom's good-old Arabic expressions!)--this person is very interested in me. It is easy to get over-excited but then might lose interest. Must be careful to take it slow but remain determined. Must find a good balance.
- Light: there is a strong sense of light/goodness/well-being coming my way. There may be money involved (always good too!). I am looking at it and staring at it and contemplateing it (it = light) and not sure how to reach it. I will meet someone who will show and advise me.
- Professionally: Someone will tell me something that pleases me. Relates to my professional life but not necessarily something related to my current job.
- "Proposal." Not THAT kind. I've heard about this opportunity indirectly. Will jumpstart phase of change. Must study the proposal and weight the pros and cons before making decisions.
- 2008: will be a year of CHANGE (that word again...)--changes will be taking place in more than one area of my life. (Note: CHANGE not necessarily positive or negative; but certainly different.)
- Holding a CARD (metaphorical, not poker!) in my hand: I will use this to bluff and get what I want. Will not have to ever show my "card". (Nice!)
Cryptic. Intriguing. Focus on change. Awaiting it impatiently :)
- Revolution: I go through excitement about something but now it's gone away--this had worried me earlier, but now it is disappearing. Related to something professional rather than personal.
- Very loyal friend: this person sometimes annoys me and gets on my nerves. Now he/she is confused but I will not know how to help or what to do. We will boh avoid the subject.
- NEWS: 2 pieces-
(a) Big & Important: will find out in the upcoming few days. I will be surprised. This news is related directly to me. I will be happy :) (--Note: coincided with my Dec. trip to Ammanland.)
(b) Small & Sweet: the news will come from afar (geographically). About someone else. Will also make me happy :) [Happiness; always good]
- Race: between me and another person who is "stronger" and has a "further reach". Despite being "smaller or weaker", I am catching up to them. The overall tone is good.
- Guy (recurring from before?): has strong feelings towards me. Really cares for me. Not sure about my feelings towards him. Relying on time to clear it up and establish my true feelings. Some complications to think about. There is a girl involved who I will discuss this with--she is the only person that I will be truly honest with. She unintentionally reveals my hesitancy to him. He is not perturbed and continues to have strong feelings towards me. The outcome is unclear but there is a sense of attachment already.
- I will hear about someone who is seriously sick. They are not getting better. This person is not related (socially or family-wise) to me.
There is a recurring theme of racing, romantic confusion and change. Ah...only time will tell!
(Disclaimer: slightly on the philosophical side; thank you mother!)
- I am sitting at the summit--everything around me appears lower than me. I am standing alone. There are ideas that I want to pursue and fulfill. There is an obstacle--a dark cloud above me which I cannot see. I won't realise this until I am "there". I am perhaps choosing not to get there.
- Male presence: On some level, I see "perfection" in him--it is not clear in what sense. Despite this, I cannot get along with him because we are not on the same page; we have very different ways of thinking. This person will remain in my life for some time until another girl "shows up" (not romantically involved) and changes the way I feel towards him.
- Ladder: I am climbing and there is no-one else climbing with me. Climbing very slowly. If/when someone decides to start climbing too, I will have to move faster.
- There is going to be a 180º change in my life (yes exciting...ish!) after meeting someone who I eventually fall in love with. (Yes, love.) This guy appears virtually from nowhere; we had met before but I did not consider that we may be suited. He pursues me for a short period of time and the feelings develop into mutuality. THIS IS GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE. I will be "embracing" him (best translation from Arabic that I could muster...) There will be one small incident that will disappoint me slightly but it will not matter because I will change my thoughts because of this person. This person is a "foreigner" in the geographic sense. Socially, we are from different circles and environment but sharing a strong link. The key word is CHANGE.
- There is a male whose name starts with the letter B: this person keeps going in and out of my life. He provides me with attention on a constant basis. This is not necesarily a romantic interest. Even though I enjoy the attention somewhat, I am uninterested and it doesn't really affect me.
- BEWARE: Female friend--I confide in her regularly. She is, in fact, relaying my mesages to the people which are involved in our discussions. Possibly, but not necessarily, a professional acquaintance.
On the whole, quite interesting. Some things which may be playing out and others which, obscure and vague, mean very little to me as of yet.
As with all things, only time will tell.
(If you posess any information pertaining to the above or any other of my readings, do not hesitate to share...)
Monday, February 4, 2008
- KEY: will receive an "offer" in appx. 2 months. Will be v confused. Offer will be far beyond my expectations. I will be surprised. Will discuss this offer with only one person who is standing behind me and pushing me to take it. My thoughts are: "Leave me alone to think!" Note: There are 2 other people who have their eye on the same offer.
- A close and loyal friend may have to leave and move somewhere far. I will be upset for a while. This person doesn't have a choice and must go.
- I will have a discussion with a close female friend--this is the first time we discuss the topic. We will both be releived because the subject was broached. The change post-chat will be in her life not mine.
- I will be given an assignment that I'd like to do my own way but at the same time will feel very reluctant to due to reactions from others. I will work hard to complete it anyway, but not with all my heart.
- I am going to finally obtain something I have been wanting--material object.
Updates to follow soon. Keep visiting.
Note to self: Must keep eyes open for keys, vague assignments and disappearing friends.
The posts which follow are coffee cup readings as seen by my dear mother who humors me and enlightens me whenever my poor mind is in disarray with "good news" and the occasional mysterious man...
The first dates back to September 2nd 2007. The most recent is just last week--January 26th 2008. I'll update the reading with possible events which could match up as they happen, so check back for possible "explanations" as my life unfolds.
DISCLAIMER: coffee contains caffeine which causes cellulite, high blood pressure, apetite suppression, weight loss and insomnia, often keeping you up all night to wonder the meaning of your life. I will only take responsibility for the last of these side-effects.
Enjoy your coffee :)