Heroic measures

Hercules: husband, hero & hunk. He fought against the seemingly impossible, supported by his loyal half-sister and somewhat estranged father. He endured his father's jealous wife and came out on top. He suffered a serious Hades-induced overdose but still managed to make his way back and have everything come up roses.

Today, he would be endorsing a footwear line, designer watch and carbonated drink. The Meg 'incident' is conveniently spun and Herc becomes nothing short of an international hero.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, let's go back just a little. What got him into the mess to begin with? And why are we so quick to forgive his actions? His winning smile, bulging biceps and apparent suffering have made our hearts melt. The Brad Pitt of ancient Greece. After having forsaken (and accidentally (?) murdered) his woman, Meg, he wins the hearts of the masses with nothing more than some good PR. Highlight his achievements: Hercules, strong and loyal. Brad, supportive and doting.

But what of our favorite friend? Swept underneath the rug, this damsel in distress is unfairly forgotten--nothing more than an inconvenient skeleton in the closet. Left to sit in an old book on a dusty shelf somewhere, merely an afterthought. Shuffled to the last pages of US Weekly. Jen and Meg are conveniently diminished, while Herc and Brad adorn the covers. When will Meg get the attention and sympathy she deserves? Or will directing sympathy at her make us love Herc just a little less?

As a staunch supporter of Jen, I can't help but take Meg's side. How can a man who slaughtered his wife and kids have made it to the ranks of hero, and one of the greatest no less? His lawyers sorted the whole thing out, "We'll plead insanity" they told Herc reassuringly. "Don't worry about a thing, with your winning smile and that just-got-out-of-bed hair, the media will eat the whole thing up." The jury must have bought it too, hook, line and sinker. Poor Paris (Hilton, not Troy), if only she had hired Herc's attorneys.

And what of retribution??? Forget rehab, leave Promises and Wonderland behind; only Eurystheus will really bring you back. A custom twelve-step program is the new "I'm sorry". If only Britney and Lindsay had known.

So is there any hope for Meg? Doesn't she deserve just a little more recognition, even if it is at the expense of the man-of-the-moment? Sadly, Meg has bad PR. No press releases worth being picked up, nor newsworthy scandals surrounding her. Sure, her murder was tragic, but where's the blockbuster in that? And the murder of her children? That would never pass the PG 13 censors ratings.

What Meg really needs is a little sneaky PR of her own: an underground grassroots movement. 'Free Paris' and 'Team Aniston', move over, 'Save Meg' is where it's gonna be at.



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