the wise words of winnie the pooh

meet my friend, winnie the pooh.

true, he's a bear, and full of fluff, but just like me, he's also learning as he goes along...

1. It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"

2. You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.

3. If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.

4. You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.

5. Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.

6. A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.

7. Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.

8. When late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts, don't worry; you're probably just a little eleven o'clockish.

9. Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.

10. A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.

11. Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.

12. When having a smackerel of something with a friend, don't eat so much that you get stuck in the doorway trying to get out.

13. Some people care too much, I think it's called love.

image: quote from Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh's best friend.

calculated risks

1. You must always keep your options open.

2. Right and wrong are subjective: something can feel right but be very wrong, and something can seem totally wrong but be completely the right thing. It's irrelevant.

3. The number of steps you take down to get somewhere, you will have to climb back up later. Choose your shoes wisely.

4. Sometimes you have to take a calculated risk. At other times you will be too drunk to calculate the risk, so it is best to simply not take it.

5. Self-preservation may often be mistaken for self-punishment: make sure you understand the difference before you embark on either.

6. It is much easier to fold a sheet when you've got someone holding up the other end to help you.

7. A certain mug may be more symbolic than meets the eye.

8. Travelling on back-to-back weekends is exhausting for some, necessary for others.

9. There is no such thing as too much champagne. Too many cigarettes is a whole other story.

friendly fire

1. criticism from a stranger is never easy to hear

2. "remember, money is dirty"

3. if you are feeling like Mariah post-Glitter pre-breakdown, like Britney post-divorce pre-Circus, and like Lindsay post-parties pre-jail, you need to slow down

4. when writing in another language, choose your words very carefully

5. there is no such thing as friendly fire... unless you are frozen in a mass of ice, then fire is very friendly

6. disappointment is inevitable. decide how much you want to let it bother you

7. when asked to offer criticism to a stranger, remember no.1

accommodating

1. never joke that a 500MB upload will give you an error at 97%

2. "people need to be accommodating, whether they are family or not"

3. not all decisions are dramatic

4. one should be very careful with one's choice of movie when one is feeling particularly exasperated

5. when faced with the consequences of murphy's law, one will always wonder what kind of guy murphy was

6. a bottle of wine is a much cheaper form of therapy

7. there's no such thing as too many cups of tea...

8. ... but there is such thing as too much butter

9. when travelling for less than 24 hours, it is best to be sober for the 24 hours preceding

smokescreen

words for the weekend...

1. i'm only critical when i care

2. horrifyingly, life is like a box of chocolates, faced with one decision after another, and you never know what you're gonna get

3. it is almost impossible to please everyone

4. if one does not enjoy being in a smoky bar for a drink, one should not go to a smoky bar for a drink

5. man can't live by bread alone, but woman can certainly live by cereal alone

6. "no-one is ever good enough for the people you love"

7. you can get the same thing for 30,000 that someone has tried to charge you 180,000 for

8. restlessness of any kind is simply you waiting for the other shoe to drop

trying hard enough

1. sometimes a 30-40 minute wait for a table is worth it

2. if it's after 3 am and someone promises to "get a cab and wait for you outside", it's best to assume they won't

3. the only way to live your life is unapologetically

4. it is entirely possible to plan a wedding in 9 days

5. ordering pizza when inebriated and sleepy is never ever a good idea

6. when given the choice between champagne and tea, choose correctly

7. when it comes to late night requests, it is very important that you "try hard enough"

8. some movies are rewatchable to the infinite power

9. "we judge ourselves on our intentions and others on their actions"

happier than a bird with a french fry

unceremoniously back for more cake...

1. maybe he's just not a flower-giving kind of guy, just remind yourself of his other good qualities, and then send yourself some flowers

2. happiness really is a state of mind, but the ultimate enhancement is a good dose of fruit

3. spreading yourself thin is better than not spreading yourself at all

4. the more you look for mistakes, the more you will find

5. getting used to something is a dangerous thing

6. a lack of willpower is the root of all evil

7. the most adequate response to "why?" is "why not?!"

8. no good deed goes unpunished

9. adjusting one's age is perfectly acceptable if one simply does not feel that age

10. the literal road less traveled is often literally the most scenic

11. a picture is worth (and generates) a thousand words, and then some

Dirty Laundry

I've been harassed. As a result, here you go.

1. Everything is relative. Things are never what they seem.

2. Changing perspective is the best way to solve a problem.

3. An empty laundry basket is very satisfying.

4. In driving, changing lanes follows a highly orchestrated set of rules and moves.

5. In life, changing lanes follows no rules whatsoever.

6. The more information at your disposal, the more the plot thickens.

7. Whether you are "a catch" or not is not something to be assessed by you.

8. A smaller notebook lends itself to productive work. And a relatively longer and hence more impressive 'to do' list.

9. In addition to the amount, the rate at which one downs alcoholic beverages s positively correlated to the eventual level of inebriation.

10. A sunburn does not facilitate a good night's sleep.

11. Be very very careful what you wish for.

12. Secretive behaviour is highly extremely unattractively antisocial.

13. Guitar Hero is a perfectly good way to spend one's weekend.

14. Virtual money can be just as exciting as Real money.

15. Never make a Life Changing Decision to suit someone else's life.

16. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss.

Not Enough Cake

It's been productive, very productive for Cake...

1. "There's no right or wrong, just the consequences of your actions."

2. "Play the player, not the hand."

3. When making a speech, always leave your audience begging for more.

4. When asked by a brother and sister who looks older, always say the former, never the latter. Always.

5. Sometime 'not enough' is better than nothing.

6. A short skirt is the easiest way to stop traffic.

7. "Treat em mean, keep em keen."

8. A mere spark is not enough.

9. Rain may or may not be a good reason to leave a party.

10. It's been said before, but there is no such thing as too much cake.

A pinch of salt

Not much to say. Let's leave it at that today.
As promised to some, you have finally been featured. (You know who you are.)

1. "There's always an ulterior motive."

2. Certain values may not be as valued as you may have initially evaluated.

3. Although no replacement for cake, chocolate mousse is rumored to be a healthy dessert.

4. "Change is neither good nor bad. It simply is."

5. It is better to get things in writing.

6. "It's happy for the ketchup when you add pizza to it." G.C.

7. Hidden agendas serve very little purpose until they are suspected of being so.

8. Some circles subscribe to the notion that men who keep plants are not scared of commitment.

9. 'A pinch of salt' is usually the secret ingredient on more occasions than just cake.

Apples and oranges

Yes, sounds healthy. Until you think of delicious apple pie or creamy orange custard.... Now we're talking!

1. Don't bite into an orange and expect it to taste like an apple.

2. It is hard not to feel cheated when watching a movie about French people who never speak a word of French.

3. It's important to have something to wake up for other than work.

4. It's nice to have options, but you don't have to take them just because you have them.

5. If you consistently worry, it is impossible to be trained not to.

6. Passive Aggressive Social Management is when you decline an invitation by saying that you'll go, and then unceremoniously not going.

Great Expectations

Big life lessons? Might just be easier to settle for a Big slice of cake.
Let's get to it...

1. If you are not expecting to bump into anyone, expect to.

2. The name of a city may carry a more secret meaning than originally assumed.

3. When speaking in another language, you must think in that language.

4. "It's sad for a pizza when you have to add ketchup."

5. Keep your expectations low at all times. No exceptions. Ever.

6. When given the opportunity to take a penalty shot, your football skills far less important than your ability to read the goalkeeper's mind.

7. If the answer to your question has no added value, don't ask it.

Tequila pie

Short, refreshing and to-the-point. Just like a tequila shot.

1. One must outsource payment whenever possible.

2. Being Zen can more than often be misconstrued as being Boring.

3. When you get a craving, no matter how strong, it is just that. A craving.

4. Much to the chagrin of some, certain people often base decisions on Right Now, not The Future.

5. Having the ball in one's court is a fleeting but powerful occurrence.

6. Not all cake is created equal. Some cake is more equal than others.

7. There is a fine line between too much tequila and too little tequila. In retrospect, there is no such thing as too little; in the moment, there is no such thing as too much.

8. Advice is rarely warranted unless it has been requested. Even then, it is probably still unwarranted.

9. Decision-making is not as big a deal as some may make it out to be.

10. When in doubt between two tempting desserts, have both. (This is not to be used liberally as an analogy for other temptations.)

Picking at scabs

Interesting week....a series of less than serious events with more than serious consequences.

1. There is a time and place for sociability.

2. The less you care about your job, the easier it is to do.

3. Afternoon meetings make for shorter and more pleasant days.

4. Soup is an adequate replacement for any meal.

5. Serial killers are not necessarily bad people. Seemingly good people cannot be ruled out as serial killers.

6. If you sleep badly you will wake up badly.

7. A black coffee breakfast is ominously indicative of the events of the coming day.

8. Casual invitations, upon acceptance, may prove to be far from casual.

9. Picking at a scab of any sort will only aggravate the situation.

10. When faced with the prospect of a harrowing call, sometimes it is simply easier not to pick up.

11. There are no decreasing returns associated with watching a certain vampire movie a second time.

12. Picking up one's life and moving to Paris to drink a lot of cafe lattes, eat a lot of croissants and read a lot of books is not the least bit irrational.

13. It's a terrible thing to be determined.

The last piece of cake...

...At least for this year.

Given my love of milestones, it was only fitting to share with you the highlights of the "decade". And of course, by decade, I mean "year".

This is a blend of old and new, funny and depressing, epiphanic and recurring. Feel free to add your own. I suspect you've all got a few up your sleeves.

Things I've learned in 2009:

1. When at the threshold of an emotional breakdown, always ask yourself the question: "So what?"

2. Labels are important. (Not the kind on your jeans.)

3. Everyone lives with disordered eating; this doesn't commonly equate to an eating disorder.

4. Two flights to the same place within one week may or may not be worth it.

5. An almost Christmas party is more exciting when faced with an impromptu power outage.

6. Cake (in all its forms) is the ultimate form of comfort food.

7. It's not a secret if more than one person knows.

8. It is best to write Santa a list.

9. Actions speak louder than words. But even these can be misinterpreted: proceed cautiously.

10. A new job will not necessarily make you happier than an old one.

11. Driving licenses are overrated.

12. No punishment is worse than the silent treatment.

13. Honesty is definitely unmistakably decidedly unwaveringly the best policy.

14. There's nothing sexier than a vampire. Except maybe a serial killer.

15. Time flies, whether you are having any fun or not.

Undramatically Unpleasant

So soon, I know. How unlike me.
It's been One of Those Days.
Not particularly pleasant nor excessively horrible. I'd love to complain about it, but you'd all be highly disappointed at the lack of drama involved.
Not dissimilar to a small bowl of undercooked custard.
Mundane unpleasant days have no use at all it seems.

Keeping in the spirit of the day, I'll talk less and do more:

1. Sometimes, you have no choice but to judge a book by its cover.

2. Contrary to popular (read: waiter) belief, the shape of a Charlotte au Fraises does affect its taste.

3. Saudi Arabia is Dubai without the vague possibility of fleeting fun.

4. A crappy car is far better than no car at all.

5. More often than not, Cough will choose to invite good friend Fever to come visit too.

6. Misunderstanding breeds misunderstanding which breeds awkwardness.

7. Wishes sometimes arrive too late, and by then, they are out of season.

8. When receiving an email in error from an important exec, it is wholly unexciting unless the content is salacious and scandalous.

9. When a camera goes missing, it is always socially easier to insinuate that it disappeared into thin air than that it had been secretly pocketed.

10. Taking photographs without the flash is much more flattering.

11. Lobster one night and sea bass the next leaves one feeling gastronomically spoilt.

12. Candylicious is just as impressive as the aquarium facing it, if not more. (If you are not in Dubai, this will be completely lost on you. If so, let them eat cake will replace this learning with another so as not to feel cheated.)

When cake doesn't cut it.

It's been a long week. (Even though technically, it's just as long as all the rest.) I can't remember what I did on Sunday, what I ate on Monday or who I saw on Tuesday. Just like all the rest, the days blend into weeks blend into months... and even thought I'm quite not old enough to say this quite yet, eventually they blend into years.

So what are we looking for? (I constantly find myself as if in a frantic treasure hunt, with no clues but hoping to stumble upon something. Sometimes, it works.) This week, thanks to a certain unique someone, I had my much-awaited epiphany. It's not the cakes that matter, not even the cupcakes! It's simply the Cherry on Top. What makes the day before your wedding less special than the day of your wedding isn't the gorgeous dress or the 3 tiered 'gateux'; it's the littler things, like wearing your big sister's earrings and having Future Husband send you a handwritten note just before you walk down the aisle.

What we're really seeking isn't the cake. The cake is a pre-requisite, nothing can take place without it. What we're all looking for is that cherry on top, even more special and personal than the icing. (Yes there is such a thing as something which is better than cake it seems.)

So along the way and as I (apparently) continue to seek my cherry on top, I happen to be learning a thing or two. Or eleven, actually. Time has taught me that this helps the cake taste better in the meantime.

1. "SMS affairs require less effort & preparation time than real ones." - Source prefers anonymity.

2. If you feel like it's Thursday, it's probably not.

3. If you feel like you're going to collapse, it's probably Thursday.

4. "It may be a gorgeous dress, but a girl still needs her brain to work. Go ahead. Eat" - B.K.

5. Sometimes wishing for a song is not enough. Sometimes you just need to buy the CD.

6. Leaving your gym bag at home on a given day may or may not be a sign that you shouldn't go to the gym on said day. (Yes, obviously not something I learned myself.)

7. Time machines are an adequate solution to most problems.

8. It is best not to place small animals inside time machines. Unless they are guinea pigs; they're used to it.

9. No Parking signs are simply a suggestion. (Kindly note that "let them eat cake" will not be held liable for any alleged or actual parking tickets.)

10. A smart friend is a far better source of directions than any map.

11. It takes a certain type of cherry to sit atop a certain kind of cake. If you're not sure which cherry goes with your cake, it's best to consult an expert.
(Those specialising in cherries are usually best :) www.cherryontop.ae)

Forcing change

...the kind which signals a shift, not the kind in your pocket, although I'm sure we can all do with a little more of the latter. Yes, money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather be miserable in a lavish Ferrari than in my current rental.

Usually I'd advocate the idea that change is something YOU are in control of, something YOU can manipulate for your own objectives, something which YOU can induce and encourage and embrace. All sounds very well and nice I guess. This theory helps me sleep better at night.

But looking at all the Moments of Change in my life, I can't help but realise that I cannot pinpoint a turning point for any of the major changes, nor can I claim I was ever in control. Distressing, yes. Perhaps I should worry less, sleep more and sit back while I enjoy the lovely weather, ignoring the factors that brought about its change from "gross" to "quite pleasant".

The new mantra? Just do, and change will follow. (No need really to "be the change I want to see in the world.") Must learn to stop forcing change. (But should try to encourage change to appear more often in my pockets.)

Flipping through the brand new Middle East edition of Esquire last night, I spotted my favourite section: Things I've Learned. And yes, for those of you who know me well, you will know that, of course, I took it as "a sign" to blog. So here are the latest batch of enlightened musings:

1. One must specify "electric windows" and "remote-control lock" when securing a rental car.

2. A handbag has little use. I discovered this after forgetting my handbag in my unlocked rental car for about 6 hours. Potential robbers must have also speculated that my handbag has little use.

3. It's not the number of activities that you do that matters, its their proximity to home.

4. A barter deal of a daily ride home in exchange for unlimited use of someone's earphones is more than fair, any way you look at it.

5. If you wish hard enough, you will hear your current favourite song on the radio minutes after you get into your car.

6. It is important to distinguish between 1st, 2nd and 3rd base. Also, it seems there is such a thing as 3/4 base.

7. "Trix & Chocolate Milk" have replaced "Latte & Croissant" as Favourite Weekday Breakfast. (Both trail far behind "Pancakes & Maple Syrup", Favourite Weekend Breakfast.)

8. Having a chocolate crepe for lunch is extremely acceptable and should be exercised as often as one wishes.

9. When reading a book with "how to" in the title, you expect to learn something. This may or may not be the case. I will let you know.

10. Replacing Metro with Car increases your level of comfort but decreases your level of reading. Whether this is a fair bargain has yet to be determined.

Cupcakes and candles

Yes, I'm still alive!
And my apetite for confectionary is still as ample as ever.

I recently joined the ranks of Functioning PR Agency after having left Deteriorating PR Agency, and needless to say, the cake learnings require a re-start, and maybe a revamp. Less listy, more talky. Before we get to the main event, let me share with you Things I've Accomplished (maybe more important than Things I've Learned?) in my interim between Deteriorating and Functioning:

1. Buy a TV. And a DVD player.
2. Locate curtains for entire living room for under 150 AED.
3. Visit IKEA. Twice.
4. Cook. Twice.
5. Get a tan.
6. Convince mother to come visit despite her long-standing claim that "There is nothing in Dubai". And apparently no, I don't count.
7. Master the metro.
8. Hate the metro.
9. Finish reading Julie & Julia (thank you metro).
10. Eat 2 "slices" of cake and a cupcake and a half. Last night.

So it might seem uneventful, but unsurprisingly, temporary unemployment suited me quite nicely. Of course, I also managed to learn a thing or two.

Which brings us to our main entrée:

1. "Lunch" during the week refers to an activity which takes place within a 3 km radius.

2. The finance department does not vary much from agency to agency.

3. Elevator music belongs in an elevator. Not on a train.

4. The daily Starbucks expense is a necessary one.

5. Always expect to bump into the one person whose calls you've been dodging.

6. Being in a Functioning environment for 10 hours a day is far more favourable to being so in a Deteriorating one for 5.

7. I am not a terrible singer.

8. Adding an ingredient to a dish can completely alter the taste of said dish. Namely shitake mushrooms.

9. Birthday "surprises" decrease in value as you increase in age.

10. When one consumes too much alcohol, one will inevitable spend the following day in bed, bath(room) and, at times, beyond.

Let them tweet cake

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or @cakeforthought

Contributions will be re-tweeted!

A scoop of gelato

One shouldn't wait so long to re-unite with good friends...

1. Long flights require good reading material.

2. When walking down a hundred steps in Positano, one must keep in mind that one will eventually have to walk back up those steps, and probably inebriated.

3. Don't be alarmed when you arrive at the airport in Napoli and discover that it is less of an airport and more of a giant coffee shop.

4. It is safe to assume that venturing out to get one last hit of gelato will cause an entire bus of people to forget you.

5. There is no such thing as too much gelato.

6. The more wonderful your vacation destination, the more dangerous it is to return to your gloomy place of residence.

7. Three is an adequate number of dresses for a bride to wear.

8. When making a speech, make sure to insert a witty joke building on the speeches made prior to yours. If this speech is being made at a wedding, this joke is usually about making babies.

9. The best way to enjoy a vacation is with no communication devices of any sort in your vicinity.

Smoke and mirrors

It is refreshingly mind-boggling how much a person can truly learn about themselves in just 3 days.

1. When making a movie, it is safe to assume that you will always be at least an hour behind schedule. At least.

2. All actors are demanding in their own way, even extras.

3. When making believe, it is necessary to believe in what you're making.

4. Strangers' sacrificial support will always surprise and amaze you when you least expect it.

5. Sometimes a "thank you" is enough. Sometimes you need the lure of booze to get your point across.

6. Being an extra is far less boring in the presence of blackberry messenger.

7. Wearing a wig is a low-cost, commitment-free way to dye one's hair. Or be someone else for a while.

8. It can be problematically difficult to get into character, and even more problematically so to get out of character.

9. When on a movie-set, expect to be constantly hungry. Otherwise, who will eat all the chocolates?

10. It is an unexpected lovely surprise to find yourself re-reading a favourite book when you least expect it, especially when in an unexpected state of mind (and hair).

11. Cake is the perfect way to end a 3 day shoot. The more the better.

Let me eat cake, plenty of cake.

The day marking one's transition from x years to x + 1 years tends to spew forth a smattering of interesting musings... some related to ageing and maturing, and some related to nothing at all.

1. "It is better to be over the hill than under it..." - B.A.

2. "But once you are over the hill, you will begin to pick up speed." - Isaac Newton

3. Growing old; you can't help. Growing up; you sometimes don't want to.

4. "At 25, you are closer to 30 than you are to 20. Or something like that."

5. Birthdays are excellent at keeping geographically impaired friends in as close touch as possible.

6. Those older than you will almost certainly always feel the need to impart their version of 'words of wisdom'.

7. The older one gets, the more apt it gets to rephrase 'words of wisdom' to 'ways to land a great husband'.

8. Twenty-five, it seems, is the age when one must endeavor to locate an adequate spouse.

9. 'But it's my birthday!' is the best way to get what you want. Beware of frequent usage.

10. No matter how old you get, a surprise on your birthday never gets old.

11. Applicable to more than just birthday celebrations, "It doesn't matter what you do, it matters who you do it with."

12. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

13. It has come to my attention that no birthday celebration is complete without cupcakes.

14."A good friend is a mirror." - S.D.

Tutte le strade portano a Roma

Geographic, emotional and phychological roller-coaster.
"A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell..."

1. The best way to see how much someone cares about you is not to see them at all.

2. "Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves." - D.P.

3. There is nothing Americans love or cherish more than the ritual of forming a queue and waiting.

4. There is no tried-and-true way to get upgraded on a flight.

5. Champagne cocktails at 11am do not denote a love for alcohol, they denote a love for mornings.

6. There are some things in life, too delicious not to share.

7. When in doubt, take the bus over the subway. At least you can see where you're going.

8. "If there are more than 3 Turks, don't go." - A.H.

9. "You know you're in a big city if you can't tell if it's a man or a woman." - D.T.

10. "White is always the solution." - L.B.

11. House-hunting is most successful when practised in the close vicinity of one's existing house.

12. When on vacation, no matter how long, underpacking is always better than overpacking.

13. A missed flight often leads to the knowledge of how to solve a Rubick's cube.

14. There is nothing more influential on one's mood than the way one is woken up in the morning.

15. When asked a difficult question in an interview, start your sentence with "To be honest..." It rarely matters what you finish it with.

16. When it comes to homework, procrastinating does not disappear with age.

17. The best way to enjoy a museum is on your own.

18. When in the American South, it is considered a sin to invite people over without at least one (or six) meat-based dishes.

19. Passive-aggressive communication will never be admired nor respected.

20. The more the number of family members in the same location, the higher the need for a nicotine fix and a strong alcoholic beverage.

"A weak head"

All from Jane Austen's Emma.
Re-reading it is revealing very many learnings that deserve their own post...

1. If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to `Yes,' she ought to say `No' directly.

2. You must be the best judge of your own happiness.

3. A woman is not to marry a man merely because she is asked, or because he is attached to her, and can write a tolerable letter.

4. One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

5. Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.

6. There is one thing,which a man can always do, if he chooses, and that is, his duty.

7. Vanity working on a weak head, produces every sort of mischief.

8. There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves.

9. Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised, or a little mistaken.

10. One cannot have too large a party.

Opportunity Costs

A sugar high only lasts so long...

1. On very short trips, there is not time for hangovers.

2. Purchasing gifts are the best way to kill time when waiting for people to arrive. Also, the best way to start a marriage.

3. American cars have deceptively heavy doors.

4.
a) Sleep is optional when in the presence of an activity of higher opportunity cost.
b) "Sleep and fun are inversely proportional."

5. An unexpectedly working credit card leads straight to retail therapy. (Retail rehab may ensue but studies have not shown a clear correlation. More research needs to be done.)

6. One can never truly anticipate the source or duration of the mean reds. A croissant and early morning trip to Tiffany's is usually one's only hope.

7. In certain geographies, Cartier is the only common landmark.

8. When at the beach, being in the sea is far superior to being on the sand.

9. When one does not wear sunblock and spends several hours in the sun, one's shoulders will undoubtedly get very very burnt.

10. One should not consume cranberry juice with their vodka when one chooses to wear a light-coloured dress to a wedding.

11. When in doubt, 2 packs of cigarettes are never enough. Always order more.

12. Weekends pass so quickly and weekdays pass so slowly because the former contain just 2 days, and the latter contain 5.

13. Very large iPod playlists make for a very high chance for blasts-from-the-past. Very memorable dance moves and all.

14. Clever anagrams render a catchy pop song very witty.

Inauspicious Chips

The most time consuming aspect of these posts is coming up with a title that thematically links the disjointed but related nuggets of 'wisdom' which follow...

1. Waking up on the right side of bed in a house with one extra person than when you went to sleep is certainly the icing on the cake.

2. A conversation between two people about a very mundane subject can have very different meanings to the very different people on either end.

3. "No cost moves, you should always do."

4. The fewer the number of people, the more important the concept of strength in numbers.

5. Living precariously in the present is far far easier than doing so responsibly with the future in mind.

6. Regularly recurring risks are usually not well thought out and pay off badly in the long run. Like bets on an inauspicious roulette table.

7. When weather is unpleasant, one must forego smoking for the sake of shelter.

8. According to certain powerful minds, cover letters and resumes must never be longer than one page. Ever.

9. "It's just a job."

10. Things very much so happen for a reason.

11. Leaving the chips to fall where they may, may not result in a very favourable outcome. Sometime coaxing the chips into position is necessary.

12. "No more eating chips after a drunken night out."

13. Reading between the lines gets tiring.

"Do one thing a day that scares you."

"Think like a casino"

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1. "Don't mornings suck?" is a perfectly legitimate way to wish someone "good morning".

2. "Drama is unnecessary, unless it's in a book or on a screen."

3. There's a lot of deception in the world of make-up, specifically light reflecting pigments found in certain foundations.

4. Time management can only be possible if one actually has time to manage.

5. A 5-minute visit will almost always reveal more than a 5-hour one ever will.

6. The perfect temperature of a room is 23 degrees Celsius. Almost nobody I know agrees with me.

7. Drying one's hair might be the only upper body exercise that one get. If this might be the case, one should always dry one's hair.

8. Playing the game is far more work than it's worth, and more often than not yielding pretty much the same outcome. Just skip to the part where the winners and losers are decided.

9. Language barriers can cause a bland story to be communicated sensationally.

10. Forwardness remains strangely attractive, no matter how otherwise unattractive its conveyor might be.

11. The same set of dice, rolled again, will rarely give you the same result. That is how casinos make money. Think like a casino.

12. Almost-free cookies do not come without a catch.

13. Time zones are nothing but a big scam to keep loved ones disconnected.

Integrally impassive

"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."


1. Opening a jar of previously unopened pickles makes one feel unusually triumphant.

2. In a romantic comedy, the hero or heroine will always appear when they are most needed. Real life, it seems, does not always function in this manner.

3. Active-aggressive is not necessarily the opposite of passive-aggressive.

4. Risk-taking does not always pay off, but in the instances that it does, it is completely worth it.

5. Staying at work for an extra 3 hours will never compensate for arriving at work 5 minutes late the day before.

6. "Everybody is less mysterious than they think they are."

7. It is okay to ditch beach plans if the alternative is a boat.

8. Decision-making is not out-sourcable.

9. Uneven sunscreen makes for a very strange tan pattern.

10. Frisbees have a mind of their own.

11. It's not the pros and cons that decide which way you take at a crossroads, it's your priorities.

12. If you are nice to technology, technology will be nice to you.

13. One should not make life-altering decisions when aboard a roller-coaster, emotional or otherwise.

14. "There is nothing greater than deciding in your life that things maybe really are black and white."