Thursday, December 4, 2008

Controversially grand

"Justifying reasons why is an absolutely insane resolution to live by..."

1. "When it comes to food, you should always only ever be tasting."

2. It is always better to regret something that you did rather than something you didn't do.

3. Detachment, of any sort, is much easier than one is led to believe.

4. There are people in your life who will eternally teach you things without realising they are doing so.

5. Not all calls need to be answered.

6. When you lay your cards on the table, you are inherently stating your openness to alter them.

7. There's nothing quite like a grand gesture.

8. At times, the game is more important than the end result.

9. It is sometimes necessary to go the distance just to make a statement.

10. When in doubt, let the weather decide for you.

11. Controversial events from the past make confirming their dates all the more controversial.

12. Control is something we like to believe we always have. The actuality is alarmingly the opposite.

13. The semblance of independence is a deceiving mask for the deep reality of dependence.

14. Some learnings, one learns, are too valuable to share selflessly.



Great musician, wonderful learning.
(Courtesy of someone who, I know, like me, believes in the importance of learning...)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Tripping backwards

The clouds are back...looking more out of place than ever.

1. A day off will totally throw you off.

2. When being close enough is not an option, one must contend with being close enough.

3. "Short hair is better than anything Victoria's Secret can ever come up with."

4. If you're not moving forward, you are only moving backwards.

5. A rebound is not a solution; it's a distraction.

6. The same trip in a different car makes for an altogether different trip.

7. "The fish is more important than the phonecall."

8. When weighed down by too much emotional baggage, one must do all one can to simply lose it. You might miss your stuff, but the airline will reimburse you somewhat and you will feel much lighter afterwards.

9. When you miss 'your person', you miss 'your person'. The only solution is the regaining of said person back in your world.

10. The most interesting of 3-ways occur unexpectedly across different time zones and during the witching hour for some. And at the expense of certain investment and financial advisory firms.

11. Implementation of the suffix "-ish" is a completely acceptable form of communication enhancement when one is attempting to remain 'easy breezy'.

12. An early evening nap on a comfortable couch and fluffy pillow can only lead to a late night drink and complex card game.

13. "When you escape the tiger you don't hang around to give him a long last look goodbye. That's when he'll eat you alive."

14. A good friend is one who will let you hear the same sappy song several several several times in a row.


(Yes, a little obsessed. But how can you say no to a little John Mayer as the icing on top?)

Monday, December 1, 2008

Morbidly mysterious

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle..."

1. Not everyone has a happy place. Some of us only have a dark and twisty place.

2. A poor pretend husband with a discount is better than a rich pretend one without.

3. Beach plans cannot exist independently of the weather.

4. Under-rating oneself is a sneaky way of causing oneself to be over-valued.

5. Sometimes not talking about something is the only way to solve it.

6. "It is not a bad thing to admit one's true intentions."

7. Strange evenings can only lead to strange dreams and can only be succeeded by strange mornings extending into strange days.

8. "Always seems to me, you only see what people want you to see."

9. Eleventh hour learnings often require 11th hour postings. And often quite literally so.

10. Depending on one's internal currency, honesty can be worth a plethora of values.

11. Smell is the strongest sense tied to memory.

12. Indirect communication and direct miscommunication are two very two-way streets.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Internal confusion of the spotless mind

Ice-cream for breakfast... with a side of pancakes and a coffee with a kiss?

1. "I am at the mercy of gravity."

2. When received in exchange for cars and diamonds, smiles and hugs become very much overrated.

3. Not all beings understand the concept of sarcasm.

4. 'Crazy' is only a matter of perspective.

5. "Listen, you can't have everything." (Very similar to a certain cake-themed learning...)

6. In the absence of physical proof, airtight and ironclad explanations are required to validate denial.

7. Eating is not a necessity, it is an activity that one partakes in given the company of good friends...

8. ...and drinking on an empty stomach is indeed a very efficient path to inebriation!

9. Solace can be found in the most unexpected of best friends, good friends or acquaintances.

10. Emotional detachment and unemotional attachment sit on opposite ends of a convoluted spectrum.

11. It is entirely and understandably possible to dislike something, someplace or someone simply based on their role in relation to you. Theory of relativity.

12. There is nothing more frustrating than sheer incompetence.

13. One can be bitchy without in actual fact being a bitch.

14. "Boyfriends are a bit of a hassle."

15. Murphy was right. What ever can go wrong, will go wrong. Very very wrong.

16. Generic pet names can often achieve the opposite of their intended result. Cryptically personal is far more appealing.

17. Sharing one's learnings while with-holding information can only lead to a terribly cryptic form of distressing internal confusion.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Reiterative cups of tea

It's never that bad... sometimes all we need is a little perspective.

1. Someone may be nice enough, but that doesn't make them nice enough.

2. Being "Dubaiian" and being "Western" are two very very unrelated concepts.

3. "You're not supposed to look like your jeans, your jeans are supposed to look like you!"

4. Some words carry too much responsibility to be uttered carelessly.

5. You always have a choice. (A repeat I believe, but reiteration is sometimes warranted...)

6. No matter how fun the game was, if you lost, you still lost.

7. Tea can be a big hassle or tea can be simple and chill.

8. Silly problems often require silly solutions.

9. If one has not entered a radio competition, one is unlikely to have won a Mazda 6 on the radio. If one does in fact win a Mazda 6, one should use it for the purposes of conveying yellow roses.

10. Your lack of ability to spell a word doesn't make you any less allowed to use it.

11. A refusal to acknowledge certain weather conditions in certain places is a normal reaction to a consistent climatic abnormality.

12. One must be cut-throat when attempting to secure coveted free tickets for a friend.

13. Waking up on the right side of bed is often associated with a yester-evening of great wine, good company and a hopeless card game.

14. Being a good friend can take on many forms, most of which are unfortunately and unforeseeably misinterpreted.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Artistically coded

"You've been drifting for a long long time..."

1. When one starts one's day on the wrong side of one's bed, one must do all one can to minimise the length of one's said day.

2. Therapy can be stumbled upon by the most unsuspecting of people in the most unsuspecting of places.

3. Music is often a safe alternative to conversation in the morning.

4. When sending a message, employ as much code as coherently possible; you never know who you might have sent it to by mistake instead.

5. When the stars are aligned correctly, a series of playful cryptic exchanges can result in finding oneself surrounded by more flowers than ever previously fathomed.

6. Art is defined as art when someone believes it to be so.

7. Suggesting a bigger size is never an option.

8. Although often associated, being honest and being blunt are two very very different things.

9. It is best to avoid transparent clothing when shopping for your daily wardrobe.

10. On rare events, certain menu items taste much better than they look. In times of famishment/selfishness, one much keep this information deceptively confidential.

11. Crazy behaviour, it seems, is more acceptable than previously thought.

12. Be careful what you throw at people:

(Always clickable...)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Symbolically Rosey

"Just a minute of your time, yes I've been known to delude myself, so let me put those rose-coloured glasses to the test....."

1. The security of stability helps significantly in keeping one sane.

2. Traffic lights and elevators are the unwitting catalysts of most life-changing events.

3. "Yellow roses were long used as a symbol for jealousy and dying love."

4. One often represses memories which one prefers not to remember. Especially those involving cones or cupcakes.

5. A car is not smarter than you.

6. Toffee-nut lattes are like summer flings: fun while they last and odd-tasting out of season.

7. A happy mask is rarely a good disguise.

8. Great ideas unshared might as well never have been.

9. Indirect communication may at times be more courageous than the direct kind.

10. You may believe you are speaking cryptically, but you may actually be 'speaking' in the language of someone who is listening.

11. Not knowing where you're going is not so bad if you are going there with someone else:



Monday, November 24, 2008

Silent garnishes

Sometimes sequences of events, although seemingly random, may fit snugly and quite alarmingly into the big picture.......

1. A bottle of wine is only as good as the company, yes, but also the food you eat it with.

2. When eating fancy food, one must find a way to distinguish between garnish, decoration and preparation.

3. Terrible service and exceptional service can co-exist in the same day. The memory of the latter far outweighs the memory of the former.

4. You can never go wrong when ordering lobster.

5. When one is in a hurry, one somehow becomes a traffic magnet.

6. Owed favours, although appreciative, do have an expiry date.

7. 'Table for 6' can become 'table for 7' with a smile and excessive compliments to the hostess.

8. Men see cars the same way women see jewelry: a safer endroit where to invest their love.

9. Silently willing someone to stay is simply not enough to get them to stay.

10. Waking up in the morning to a lack of pancakes, coffee or kisses is a modern form of torture.

11. Ordering a cake is serious business.

12. "Don't try to weasel your way out of something, you will just end up weaseling your way into something much worse."

13. Even when placed on a to-do list, things are consistently easier said than done.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Raging Blatant Superheroes

More and more wisdom coming from more and more sources; even the Rolling Stones have a nugget or two to offer...

1. "Perception is more important than what actually is."

2. Question marks, more often than not, are unnecessary.

3. When one plans to go somewhere "out of the way" where they are surrounded by no-one they know, one will undoubtedly bump into everyone they know.

4. If you feel guilty about not having seen someone, chances are they are feeling guilty too. Make the first move.

5. The beach is not so awful after all...

6. ... and a tan can only be achieved in the absence of sunscreen.

7. "When you opt for musical therapy, what you are left with after it's all passed are beautiful songs laced with poignantly negative feelings."

8. Cryptic wall posts render the act of posting on someone's wall much more calculating.

9. Folding laundry while inebriated requires approximately 3.46 times as much time and 4.39 times as much energy as when attempted sober.

10. An empty wine bar leaves plenty of space for 'interesting' conversation.

11. Fireworks are expensive.

12. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

13. The only person to spot your mistake will be the one person who will hold it against you :)

14. The one Friday night you choose not to go out is the same Friday night on which you will be unable to fall asleep anytime before 6:38am.

15. "You shouldn't have to be anything other than totally content without even the teeniest exception. You shouldn't care about any guy who isn't a raging, blatant superhero. That's what we need in life, anything else is simply not worth bothering with. "

16. One must always apologize if one feels that they have behaved badly.
See below (always clickable for source)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Flaky rock 'n' roll

"But in the long run we have found, silent films are full of sound, inaudibly free..."

1. Missing someone can be somewhat healthy.

2. A leaked hotel guest list can cause one to become excessively sneaky, albeit in complete vain!

3. A "rich husband" may not be all that it's cracked up to be.

4. An email sans body can nevertheless make one smile in the morning.

5. The longer things run smoothly, the bigger the crash at the end of the tunnel.

6. Professional comfort is an urban legend. The omnipresence of office politics and air conditioning always interfere.

7. Honesty is best expressed in writing. Or in drunkeness.

8. "It seems to me that maybe, it pretty much always means no."

9. Acknowledging one's existence while denying their importance is tricky business indeed.

10. Law of transitive property: Mailing lists belonging to cool people tend to consist of likewise cool people.

11. One must attempt to live by rock 'n' roll rules. See below for details.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Inadequate replacements

A housewife with a great kitchen, children who are seen and only very occasionally heard and an unlimited access to Tiffany's is undoubtedly the ideal occupation.....

1. Consistent Sleep Deprivation (CSD) can't possibly be good for one's physiology, nervous system or mental health.

2. In times of CSD, Consistent Coffee Deprivation (CCD) can't possibly be good for one's physiology, nervous system or mental health.

3. Timing is key when cooking several things at once, especially if said meal includes mashed potatoes.

4. Cooking is often seen as a daunting task which, if achieved correctly, may mean exponential return business.

5. People may say a lot of things. Meaning what they say is a whole different ballgame.

6. Apple juice is a meagre replacement for coffee.

7. "Conversation is where life gets interesting."

8. Documenting learnings while under stress yields disjointed and seemingly incomplete results.

Karmic proportions

Bluey purpley moods have a way of pervading the atmosphere and sinking into one's skin...

1. For most, interest in a member of the opposite sex is inversely proportional to the attention received from said member.

2. Separating business and pleasure is a skill which, once mastered, makes life much easier.

3. Spelling mistakes on a government website make one seriously rethink their geographic choices.

4. Being nice and being intelligent are also mutually exclusive.

5. Cards, unlike puzzle, food and chilling, is something that you can win at. For some, it is only ever something you can lose at.

6. WARNING: Objects (of one's affection) are closer than they appear.

7. One must manoeuvre one's political environment very knowledgeably and very carefully.

8. When given the chance, most people are inherently good. The rest, once identified, must be avoided like the plague.

9. Karma, one learns, has an uncanny way of biting one in the ass. Or one hopes so at least.

10. Middle of the night messages which one does not regret the next morning are rare but possible.

11. Sometimes, the only option is damage control.

12. "Don't be a pimp. Or a hoe." (see below, and below the below)



























(Find of the day: Someone else's somewhat disturbed but perhaps equally profound learnings which we can all stand to learn a thing or two from maybe...)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Appropriate eating venues

The mélange of alarm clocks, coffee, grumpiness and lovely weather is an ambiguous indication of how one's day will develop...

1. "Don't shit where you eat."

2. If you opt to eat outside, be prepared for the possibility that the mosquitoes did too.

3. Pampering oneself, although apparently extravagant, is somewhat of a necessity to re-feel like a human being.

4. The most unlikely contenders may often offer the best compliments.

5. Expect nothing. That way, everything that comes your way is a bonus.

6. One is inevitably grumpy in the morning unless greeted by a kiss, a wondrous cup of coffee and an unusually big stack of pancakes with real maple syrup. And by "one", I mean "me".

7. 'Sight-seeing' can be done from the confines of one's hotel room.

8. Given complicated circumstances, mutual attraction can yield horribly catastrophic and dangerously disastrous outcomes. Keep it in your head.

9. When one is intoxicated, one must not be allowed access to one's phone.

10. Coffee has 3 times the levels of antioxidants as green tea.

11. Chilling is usually accompanied by tea and complimenters. And puzzle sometimes.

12. There is a certain sense of calm that comes with finishing a satisfyingly great book.

13. If you think your job sucks, there is another one out there that is much much worse. (Illustrative example appears below for your reference.)






Delectably inebriated

Every now and then, and whatever form it takes, we all need a little 'tirami su'.......

1. When you are on the cusp of doing something which you are certain you will later regret, carefully consider the weight of enjoyment versus the weight of remorse, and then act accordingly.

2. "Pulling a Lara" (please refer to new definition) is more fun in the presence of its namesake.

3. A medium-sized Fendi bag accommodates a full bottle of vodka quite comfortably.

4. Being awoken by the unforewarned pounce of a love of your life makes the whole day a little more smiley.

5. In the absence of sunshine, you can always turn to a first-floor apartment, two bags of chips, three or so cigarettes and four gossipy friends instead.

6. If something tastes delectable when you are inebriated, you will feel reluctant to venture near it in times of uncharacteristic sobriety.

7. Certain 44th floor bars serve distinctly delicious olives. Which also happen to be within reach if sitting strategically at the bar.

8. When one uploads photo albums, one must be mentally prepared for the management, follow-up and feedback of the pictures. Oftentimes, comment moderation may require outsourcing.

9. When making your way to an early Sunday morning meeting, rest assured that your counterpart is just as sleepy and just as coffeeless as you.

10. Difficult conversations, although somewhat difficult to have, are even more difficult not to have.

11. If a gentleman remembers several details of an intoxicated exchange he shared with you, put him on the 'keepers' list.

12. The more alcohol coursing through one's veins, the more X-rated the topics of conversation one might be inclined to engage in.

13. When giving someone a gift, yes, it's the thought that counts. But it's usually also nice if the gift works.

14. Sometimes, not often, life is just like the movies.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mutually charming


learning, noun

1 : the act or experience of one that learns
2 : knowledge or skill acquired by instruction or study
3 : modification of a behavioral tendency by experience (as exposure to conditioning)


And now that you know what it means...

1. Never underestimate the power and presence of friends-by-default.

2. Perfectly unreliable people can also be perfectly nice people. Reliability and pleasantness are two mutually exclusive qualities.

3. If someone is "cute" and "reeeeeally nice", this doesn't make him any less married.

4. You cannot win or lose at 'food'. Examples include: pizza, or the spiciness of chicken.

5. In an unusually small world, dating news travels swiftly.

6. The show at the Moulin Rouge is, in actual fact, not that sexy. Especially if your hero and heroine are attracted to the same sex.

7. It is a good idea to surround yourself by people who love you in spite of your occasional hormonal aggression.

8. It would be terribly lovely to have "Block Sender" and "Report Spam" buttons in real life.

9. Drinking a lot of water results in a lot of trips to the bathroom and "hence" a lot of breaks throughout one's day. Drinking a lot of water is good for you.

10. When one puts one's mind to something, one can completely and triumphantly achieve it. Especially, I'd like to think, when one is aided by 'good vibes'.

11. Timesheets have a way of reminding you that someone else owns a third of your day. (Another third is spent asleep. Use the last third wisely.)

12. Food and eating-related emails always elicit passionate responses.

13. Thursday has an exquisite sort of charm, especially when one repeatedly and mistakenly believes it to be a Sunday.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My Blueberry Day

There is much to learn in the confines of one's own abode...

1. Looking through approximately 1,328 pictures of Italy and France makes one begin thinking that perhaps living in Italy and/or France is a thoroughly lovely idea. A far better idea than living in Dubai.

2. Watching 3 movies back to back on one's couch with a cup of tea is the best way to spend a Wednesday.

3. There is no such thing as regret when one had no choice.

4. Laundered, ironed bed sheets makes one consider crawling back into bed before the sun has even set.

5. One can survive a day on Early Grey tea and Water. And Kit Kat.

6. Even though you may had decided quite adamantly that your decision was the 'right' one, sometimes you have to let go of principle because there are things in life that are more important than others.

7. A faulty phone makes one feel unjustly lonely.

8. Sometimes, for no reason whatsoever, a girl just wants to be surrounded by beautiful flowers.

9. The prospect of a meal is exciting only in the presence of wonderful company.

10. "Sometimes, even if you have the keys, there are doors that still can't be opened."

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Surprising states of mind

"She can crawl out a frame while she's hanging on the wall..."

1. Communiation with family members lends itself to oddly bizarre topics of conversation, including but not limited to appropriate naming conventions and leaves.

2. Being 'chill' is far more comfortable than being stressed. Both states of being are simply a state of mind.

3. It is possible to miss people who live in the same country as you.

4. When surprised by a visit from one of the loves of your life, you will find it very difficult to stop smiling.

5. When distant shit hits the fan somewhere near, you might find yourself in the unfortunate position of having to clean it up. You will have no choice.

6. "Don't invite assholes to meetings."

7. If you know that the movie you are going to see is bad, then getting there early is necessary. The trailers are probably the best thing you'll see all night. (If you know that said movie is High School Musical 3, fret over how and why you ended up there and consider efficient and effective methods of removal of oneself.)

8. Wake-up calls are a simple but thoughful way to improve someone else's quality of life.

9. When someone you thought was perhaps interesting and intelligent cites 'The Da Vinci Code' as "the best book ever", quickly and quietly remove yourself from the discussion to avoid additional time wastage.

10. The most common massacre of the English language is the confusion of "your" and "you're". Yes, this stresses me out.

11. Talking to a machine, also known as 'leaving someone voicemail' is more perplexing than it sounds and may cause one to:
a) lose track of time
b) lost track of words escaping one's mouth
c) entertain the person on the receiving end

12. 'Eleventh hour learnings' often trigger the posting of said learnings. And are often the most important of posted learnings.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Dating in the Matrix

Mornings have a way of appearing deceptively optimistic...

1. If you come across a seemingly interesting person before a word has been exchanged, more often than not they will cease to be interesting once that first word is shared.

2. "A hat always gets you more attention from a man because it means one more article of clothing for him to remove."

3. Certain culinary concoctions are considerably and completely comforting.

4. Sleeping in for a an extra hour or so can be very disconcerting.

5. The more one is aware of the number of people reading one's words, the more carefully one deliberates, contests and chooses those words.

6. Cleaning out a fridge is utterly therapeutic.

7. You can win at chilling, but certainly not if you're in Sho Chos. Buddha Bar lends itself much more willingly as a venue to the task.

8. If one quits one's job to become a writer, one unwittingly eliminates one's abundant source of writing material. Cake for thought, so to speak.

9. (See diagram below. Self explanatory. And oh, thank you "bright, socially adept consultant".)


Sunday, November 9, 2008

Inanimately objective

The Weekend Edition.
(Including an unexcpected re-learning from a lovely friend at an odd hour...)

1. "The most effective way to ignore something is to acknowledge its existence and deny its importance."

2. Rest assured that when you don't show up at work, no-one will call to see where you are. This, you will find, is oddly unnerving.

3. A bottle of wine is only as good as the company you drink it with.

4. Like putting together a puzzle, the best way to blow up 40 balloons is to outsource. And pay the labour in alcohol.

5. Spending an entire Friday at home, although blasphemous, is wonderfully calming.

6. Lunch, like puzzle, is not something you can 'win' or 'lose'.

7. Chilling, akin to puzzle and lunch, is also not something that you can 'win' or 'lose'. (Especially if your competitors are downing cocktails and you are sipping wine. In that case, you win and they lose.)

8. One always feels more special when one is mentioned in cake learnings.

9. Being a "guitar hero" is not the same thing as being a guitar hero. Yes, even if "you rock".

10. Never bet on the number of strawberry cheesecake slices a friend can eat. Chances are, you'll be wrong.

11. "Human-beings are over-rated."

12. When extricating oneself from the driver's seat of one's friend's vehicle, it is always preferable that the gear is not in drive. Otherwise, said car will begin to move forwards. This, apparently, is frowned upon.

13. The combination of good music and great company makes any sort of traffic bearable.

14. Being awake before noon on a Saturday is not so bad. Really.

15. People are unwittingly honest when making-believe.

16. Inanimate objects, like computers and phones, simply don't like me.

17. "When you feel you can't let go, let go."

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Relevantly encyclopedic

Clouds in the sky.. they must have taken a wrong turn. Hopefully, like me, they will learn the right way for next time.

1. 'Puzzle' is not a game. You cannot be winning or losing. You cannot be in 1st, 4th or 17th place.

2. Odd days are best shared by those on the same frequency.

3. Being referred to as "encyclopedic" is, apparently, a compliment.

4. Even when stuck in a tree, not all kittens need to be rescued. Some learn how to get down on their own.

5. The most attractive ____________ is the one that doesn't ask for your friendship. (Please insert as appropriate.)

6. A musical education teaches you about more than just music.

7. Sometimes, we find ourselves having been friends with someone for so long, that they acquire the status of "friend by default".

8. Split ends cannot be repaired, they can only be cut off.

9. The Dubai Air Show is a great place to snare excessively rich, private-jet shopping, hopefully eligible bachelors.

10. It's tough to plan a surprise birthday party if you cannot confirm the attendance of the main party.

11. "Ignoring something is walking right through it even when it is standing in your way."

12. It's a small world. Whether this is positive or negative is yet to be seen, pending a lifetime of review.

13. When choosing a diamond, pick clarity over carat, but cut over colour.

14. In order to maximize the revenue on one's learnings, one must always always remember relevant learnings in times of relevance.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Smitten by change

I awoke inspired by the promise of change. So did my cab driver. Unfortunately, I couldn't offer him any. But I did learn quite a bit:

1. Even when we get to do what we want to and what we never imagine we'd be able to, we often don't get to do it in the way we would like to.

2. One's problems can be solved in the space and time of an elevator ride.

3. Waking up to the news of change is a great way to start the day. And eliminates snoozing. As does a missed call from someone miles, miles and MILES away!

4. Small and seemingly insignificant purchases can genuinely make one's day.

5. Nostalgia is a dangerous emotion, and often the cause of most "moments of weakness".

6. General 'missage' of the sister leads to more gifts bought for said sister.

7. Electing someone who is at or nearing life expectancy can't be wise. He's on borrowed time.

8. Making someone wait for a reply is a cruel but effective method of gaining the upper hand.

9. Bed sheets, once laundered, must be ironed.

10. A little consideration can go a long way.

11. Expensive hand soap and lotion renders the act of hand-washing much more enjoyable, yet much more guilt-laden than it should be.

12. Being smitten is a treacherously life-threatening state of being.

13. You are more likely to score a great parking spot if you are a nice person with manners.

14. When planning, delegation is key.

15. "Change" can also exist in the form of a covert haircut...

16. The easiest way to cast your second lead character is to cast the first one twice.

17. Like television, make-up also comes in high-definition.

18. "In a sit-com, you don't need to be funny, you just need to be relatable."

19. When building a wall, carefully consider the longevity of the bricks you use.

20. Sometimes the steak & burger analogy just doesn't cut it. No matter how rare the meat.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Heroin chic

Addicted yet?

1. 'I told you so', no matter how extremely warranted, is often unnecessary.

2. "Nothing is real until you start making money."

3. Talking about having children renders even some of the most verbose awkwardly speechless.

4. Pasta sauce is yummier when left to simmer. For hours.

5. The easiest way to see the person you live with is to occasionally spend some time in the place you live.

6. It is pretty easy to take something personally when you don't understand the other person's reasons and intentions.

7. Cooking while watching a movie about cooking makes cooking far more exciting and glamorous. Even if it's a movie about a rat.

8. Most intelligent people cannot use apostrophes correctly.

9. It is a rare and enchanting gift when one encounters another soul on the same frequency.

10. Being met with a package is always nice when arriving at a cluttered desk, and somewhat vaguely impressive to your neighbouring collegues.

11. "Life ain't what it seems."

12. You can grill meat on a PlayStation 3.

13. That odd instant when you have just woken up but are still sleeping is the most disorienting of the whole day.

14. 'There she goes', written by and originally performed by The La's (and not Sixpence None The Richer), is really about heroin, and not about a girl.

15. "Ice cream" is always the best answer to "What shoud we have for lunch?" Namely, double dark chocolate with oreos and heath bar. In a waffle cone. No, no sprinkles.

16. 7,634 songs on shuffle results in a troublingly appropriate soundtrack to complete one's day.

17. I have an irrationally compulsive affinity to adverbs.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Pineapple

Vaguely specific musings.
Somewhat educational. Wholly entertaining:

1. The same question asked of the same person in the same moment by two people can yield two very different answers, much to the chagrin of one of the people.

2. Answering a call from your equally verbose counterpart at 12:26am can only result in a 2:32am bedtime.

3. The Mona Lisa is just as intriguing as a puzzle as she is as a painting. If not more.

4. Sometimes, you just gotta party like it's 1999......

5. The chillest coolest people out there are sports events organizers. And outsourced puzzle labourers.

6. A to-do list makes it more fun to-do things.

7. One is more likely to feel smiley when one is wearing bright pink rather than when one is wearing gloomy grey.

8. It takes quite the effort to see the person you live with, regardless of how wonderful they are.

9. What a lovely feeling to receive a package in the mail! (Even when it's not addressed to you!)

10. The fewer the unread pages remaining in a good book, the more valuable they become.

11. Having been in someone's shoes makes it much easier to recognize them when you see them.

12. Once you've gotten used to great steak, you simply cannot (and cannot simply!) return to having fast-food burgers.

13. "A black cat is like a beautiful woman: she is intimidating to those who are too scared to get close enough to understand her."

14. The loveliness factor of one's day has absolutely nothing to do with the weather.

15. Pineapple, apparently, has some pretty interesting pretty R-rated side effects. (No elaboration to be provided. One should do one's own research!)

16. There is such thing as too much lobster, true, but only within a 24 hour period.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Double Entendres

The extensive ultimate collector's weekend edition:

1. A cosmopolitan at 3pm can only lead to an irresponsible shopping spree at Harvey Nichols and Tiffany's. Sans breakfast.

2. Explaining a Halloween costume is not necessary. Nobody listens past the word "slutty".

3. There is such thing as too much lobster.

4. Double entendres are highly entertaining, albeit sometimes elitestly so.

5. Late night chats with wonderful friends are exhaustingly enlightening. Even when disguisingly accompanied by a late night cup of tea or puzzle-making attempt.

6. Everyone has their story. Nobody leaves this world without one.

7. 'Consultants with social skills' is a narrowing pool of rare individuals. They can often be identified as the ones who can dance.

8. People's decisions are theirs to make, whether it be the right decision or wrong decision.

9. Some people, no matter how absent, have a way of being distressingly omnipresent.

10. A charming man with an accent is far more charming than a charming man without one.

11. Tiffany's is the only place to go when you have the mean reds...

12. Puzzles are excitingly intriguing when progress is being made. When faced with a lack of progress, one should politely sip on one's tea and point out certain pieces to the outsourced labour.

13. Sometimes first impressions are just that.

14. Musical exchanges lead to literary exchanges; both of which are dangerously revealing.

15. An owed favour is a highly appreciative currency. Invest.

16. Delivering a false hope is paramount on the list of irresponsible behaviour. Some questions are better left unanswered.

17. When guessing the amount of a bill and your wild "imagine-if" guess wins, it's usually not a good thing.

18. You can't have your cake and eat it too. But it's always okay to have just a slice.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Eternal Sunshine

An eclectic mix today... Musically influenced, surreally fathomed:

1. "The only reason you buy a bag from Mango is because Marc is inaccessible and you simply cannot afford it. Even though you would rather have a Marc, and you know the Mango will inevitable fall apart, you just have no choice."

2. Evenings spent with certain friends are always random. Yet very very enjoyable.

3. Grocery shopping alone is no fun at all.

4. Chats with mother are a great source of entertainment. And occasionally, love. But mainly entertainment.

5. When a friend confides in you, the only option you have is to support them.

6. 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' and the question it poses will will never have a "right answer".

7. One should learn the delicate art of saying "no".

8. "When Rod Stewart was cool he used to be in a band called The Faces, who because of Ronnie the bassist had strong links to The Rolling Stones - he went on to join the later, shitter version of the Stones."

9. A sign is a good enough reason to do or not do something. Great enough reason.

10. To the large majority of girls out there, "Halloween costume" is synonymous with "slutty outfit". If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

11. Fake meetings are the lottery tickets of a horrendous week.

12. Dave Matthews knows exactly how I feel.

13. Allowing someone to take care of you is not a sign of weakness.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

On the shelf

The quotes were straight from the horses' mouths...

1. "It takes a certain kind of foot to fill the void left in a pair of Manolos".

2. Sometimes a cigarette is better than dessert. But ideally one should have both.

3. The key to making a man happy is to make him think he made the decision.

4. An unfinished book, no matter how once-engaging, must be closed, shelved or finished before a new one can be opened...

5. Conversations about music are far more revealing than one first believes.

6. "He just gets better with age, he's like a fine wine!"

7. When presented with seemingly important and supposedly life-changing information, stop and ask yourself "So what?"

8. Few women answer the age-old question of 'What do you look for in a man?' honestly.

9. Reading a friend's account of their achievements and hopes and dreams is inspiring.

10. There's a difference between fashion and style.

11. Radiohead are terribly depressing yet terribly calming. It's a wonderfully strange effect.

12. Even though we may deep-down believe something to be true, it is always reassuring to hear it from an objective source.

13. Sugar-free red bull and a Marlboro light do not comprise "lunch".

14. Sometimes lending a sweater to a friend makes you feel warmer than if you were wearing it yourself.

15. Devising a super-duper-cool halloween costume is terribly taxing and an unnecessary source of stress.

16. Outsourcing a puzzle is the best way to get it done.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The power play

This one might be a little more extensive than usual...

1. Getting screwed over twice in the same day, by the same person, is not much fun. Especially if the person in question is not much fun.

2. A great first date does not guarantee a "happily ever after".

3. Never underestimate the strength of a bond between comrades.

4. A series of unfortunate events often prevents two people from forming an otherwise great bond. We cannot control or change this. There will always be an elephant in the room.

5. When someone takes something from you, don't expect it to be handed back to you. Go after it. But only if it's worth getting back.

6. A skim milk vanilla latte with a lovely flaky croissant is the best way to start one's day. No matter how horrible the events which follow are. Holly Golightly had it right.

7. If you feel guilty about something, it doesn't necessarily mean you are wrong.

8. Apologies are seldom sincere. They are more often the antidote to terrible terrible guilt. People sleep better once they have "apologized".

9. Soap is very very hard to sell.

10. Well-written emails are hard to come by. As is an adequate vocabulary.

11. Unexpected compliments from unexpected people are unexpectedly pleasant.

12. A caramel-filled chocolate bar is a temporary fix. A bigger bar may be more effective. The jury is still out.

13. Starting your day incongruously with a ride from a friendly soul must have a hidden meeting and contain a cryptic message. To be uncovered...

14. Always make the power play. Even if the outcome is the same, you land on the opposite end of the mojo spectrum.

Monday, October 27, 2008

25% success rate

Yesterday's learnings... with a few from this morning.

1. To cut straight to the chase, "if he doesn't propose as soon as he meets you, he's just not that into you" (!) (a more comprehensive list to follow)

2. If you don't say "no", they will assume you meant "yes".

3. Impromptu DVD nights are the best kind.

4. Impromptu chats (initiated by heart-stopping scares) with one's roommate at odd hours feels strangely normal, especially if one is discussing the mundane.

5. PQ make excellent brownies.

6. One must ask for 4 wake-up calls in order to secure one. 25% success rate. Not awful.

7. Soap is not that easy to sell.

8. When the market in which you operate does so in the manner of a third world one, third world ideas are inevitable, if not expected.

9. Cigarettes before noon are an ominous indication of things to come.

10. The correct amount of coffee grounds needed to make an excellent cup of turkish coffee is not the amount I thought it would be. More experimentation required to learn said correct amount.

11. The easiest way to make someone's day is through carefully planted, supposedly unintentional flattery.

12. Bob Dylan improves one's day considerably... as does a concomitantly coincidental phone call.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Impulsive

Over the weekend, this is what I learned... (I am sure I could have learned more, but my thinking and judgment were somewhat impaired)

1. V short black dresses are a great investment.

2. An undisclosed, overpriced number of shots usually do the job. A little too well.

3. "Going with the flow" and "Acting on every impulse" are two very different things and must not be confused.

4. Outsourcing a puzzle may or may not be the best way to get it done. (Point of contention to be settled this week.)

5. Children between the ages of 7 and 15 are vile creatures.

6. Getting to work at noon is ideal. Hence, my goal is to find a high paying, low stress, dress-code flexible PART-TIME job.

7. One should not drive a real car in the same manner that one drives a go-kart. Otherwise, one should just invest in a go-kart. Especially if one lives in Barsha.

8. The name of the game is the "ten-year plan"... (Again, thank you, you know who you are)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Breakfast

Today's learnings (tomorrow's will surely be more cryptic but nevertheless more exciting)...

1. Breakfast is not the most important meal of the day. It's the most terrifying. Especially in the presence of bad company, or having to write a press release about it for a not-so-bad company.

2. Time differences suck. Maybe a flat earth would have served me better.

3. My colleagues are terrible pranksters with no scruples. I must adopt their ways.

4. If you thought it would be a lovely idea to have lunch outside in the lovely weather, so did a lot of other people.

5. Sugarfree Redbull must have some horrendous side effects because its effects are truly magical. You could say I feel like I could fly, like I have wings so to speak.

6. There is nothing quite like an A/C war to spice up office life.

7. If you have nothing to say to someone, then don't pick up the phone to call them. It's perplexingly awkward.